Dear Dr. Date,

My partner and I have been together for three years, but I’ve seen them switch majors/careers around six times. We’ve only been in college together for a year, but they’ve bounced around from department to department while I’ve stayed with what I came into college to pursue. However, they told me a few months ago that they’ve decided on something for sure — my major.

I was excited at first (who doesn’t want their partner to actually understand what they’re going through?), but now I’m annoyed. I have to take some more entry-level classes in the fall, so they’re determined to take every single one with me! We would have the exact same schedule, same teachers, same everything. They’re thrilled that they get to transfer into the school, but I’m worried we’ll be spending a little too much time together.

I appreciate that they’re eager to be with me, but I don’t know how to tell them they need to find their own way. What do I do?

Sincerely,

Too Much

Dear Too Much,

While it’s sweet your partner wants to be with you while they try a new major, I agree that it would be a little overwhelming for you. Mention to them how if they’re going to do something new, they should try some of it on their own. You can still be there to catch them if they fall, but you don’t need to hold their hand throughout the classes.

Fall semester is still far away, so who knows — they might end up hating the major by then. But if they do continue, keep things a little separate. Take one class together, so you can still help each other out, but if possible, work on some other courses next semester that they may not be able to get into yet. A couple doesn’t have to do literally everything together, but you can still take a class or two without being stifled.

Sincerely,

Dr. Date