Dear Dr. Date, 

Not to brag, but my sex life is pretty great. My boyfriend and I follow one simple rule: when the mood strikes, let’s do it, location be damned. We’re not exhibitionists, but we’ve definitely hooked up in a few public places with no consequences.

That is, until last week. He was having a rough day at work, so I went to visit him on my day off. One thing led to another and we were going at it in the stockroom freezer. We were having a great time — then, his boss opened the door. 

Talk about a mood killer, but it gets worse: my boyfriend got fired on the spot. Deserved? Yeah, maybe. But ever since that day, he’s refused to talk to me. I feel awful! How do I fix his bad mood with something other than sex? 

Sincerely,

Not Too Cold

Dear Not Too Cold,

At least you recognize that he should have been fired. Seriously, what a health code violation! I know that this is apparently your thing, but subjecting unwilling people to your sex life is creepy and gross. It’s not like someone walked into your bedroom — you chose to do it in a semi-public place and it’s not fair to those around you. 

You definitely can’t go back to his boss and beg for his job back, but you can profusely apologize for your part in the matter and help him look for a new place of work. Like I said, you’re both in the wrong here, but he’s the one to face all the consequences. And make an agreement that when the mood strikes again, you consider your surroundings first, unless you both want to end up on an offender list.

Sincerely,

Dr. Date