Gray Davis and Schwarzenegger decided to duel,
to see who was best and least likely cruel.
The voters did consider and think and then ponder,
the choices were many, the list stretched yonder.

“Watcho talkin’ ’bout, Willis?” one candidate said.
Another split watermelons and had a bald head.
Cruz put a knife in the back of his boss.
Some voted for Mary, once ridden like a hoss.

Of course, don’t forget that Arianna ran, too,
and Larry Flynt showed up, just to see what he could do.
The California voters decided Gray had to go,
“We’ve had enough,” they said, “We can’t take any more!”

When the dust settled down, and things got quiet,
Schwarzenegger alone emerged from the riot.
He rose to the podium and began to speak,
next to him, his wife, with a nose like a beak.

“We need to clean up the government and such,
it’s true that the woman I do like to touch!”
And that ends the tale of this wacky election,
the governor, a cyborg of Hollywood invention.

And all through the country many did cheer,
but not in Minnesota, we’ve already seen it here.
For we know that governors and actors do not well mix,
Jesse Ventura ended up doing little more than nix.

In Minnesota, we dealt with his whining for four long years,
while the press and Jesse battled to the point of tears.
In Minnesota the people waited for what seemed like an eternity,
but the Californians were smarter; Arnie might only serve three.

Andrew Deutsch is a law student. Send comments to [email protected]