Women need to become self-dependent in marriages

Humiliation, infidelity, illegitimate children and unwanted exposure are the bitter tastes of life among the women in high-profile marriages. Can Louis Vuitton bags, Chanel suits, expensive homes and 10-carat diamond rings replace the love and trust that might be lost from constant exploitation?

I have had many friends comment on the infidelities of Kobe Bryant and former President Bill Clinton. I am honest and ashamed enough to say most of them said they would stay with their high-profile husbands, not because of love but because of their love for money.

Stepping into the shoes of Mrs. Bryant, Mrs. Clinton and Mrs. Jesse Jackson might not be as comfortable as some think. Sit back and envision turning on the television and seeing your husband confess to infidelity.

Break out the smelling salts, because I would pass out. What would be running through your mind? Imagine lying in a numb state of mind, hurt, confused and ashamed with thoughts of emotional, mental and financial instability. Contemplating these thoughts signify absolute dependency as well as fear. Self-dependency of one’s own finances, careers and social life would eliminate most thoughts of vacillation.

These women might be commended by some for forgiving what most would say is the unforgivable. I actually condemn the actions of these women who appear in public behind or next to their men. What about the millions of women, young and old, who are influenced by the values of these women, who are oftentimes their role models? “Hillary Clinton would not be in office if she would have divorced the president,” a cohort of mine said.

Then I thought, what would happen if the first lady and the president signed divorce papers while America watched? It would be a true representation of America in the 20th century.

Divorce rates are at an all-time high while fewer people are getting married. Why are percentage rates for divorce higher than ever?

In the earlier part of the century, most women could not conceive of leaving their husbands who provided stability in the home. Today, women leave their husbands because they are tired of them leaving their underwear on the doorknob.

What has happened to the women of the world today? Have we lost all religion? Have we turned into demanding, immoral, self-loving creatures? Not by any means. More women today are finding success in every facet of their lives, be it in their careers or in their quest for total independence.

Self-dependency is important for the survival of the fittest. The sooner women start to realize they can buy a home, have a career and even have children without the presence of a man, the sooner they will begin to feel ecstatically independent. What’s the use of giving your life to a man and perish tomorrow? What would you have truly lived for? A house, Fendi shoes and a mistress who calls your husband the father of her child?

Don’t get me twisted; the sanctity of marriage is beautiful. But when women and men do it for stability that can be achieved through one’s own self-claimed independence, that is when the fires of hell break loose. Before women or men get into the commitment of marriage, they must know what they are bringing into an alliance. Don’t ask what he or she can do for you, but what you are bringing into the relationship.

A house on the hill: $1.25 million; Manolo Blahnik stilettos: $1,500; Louis Vuitton speedy bag: $5,000; being able to say you acquired that with YOUR hard-earned cash: Priceless!

This originally appeared in the Daily Egyptian at Southern Illinois University.