Dr. Date: Being cheated; Mrs. Boogyman; Murphy needs men; Mad Max

>Dr. Date,

I found out that my boyfriend was cheating me. He admitted it and promised that he would stay with me. However, he was still planning to hang out with that girl, which didn’t make any sense to me if he really want to stick to his promise. That girl kept calling him and I don’t think he told that girl he wanted to be loyal to me.

I asked him why he wants to have sex with that girl. His answer was because he hated her boyfriend and also she likes him. I don’t think I can trust him anymore even though I really want to. I felt emotionally abused every time that he called that girl or that girl called him.

So what should I do?

Being cheated

Dear Being cheated,

So let me get this straight. You’re dating a guy. He cheated on you. You forgave him. He hangs out with the girl he cheated with.

Are you seriously that dense? Good lord, this guy is a douche. You cannot honestly tell me you have granted him forgiveness and then stuck to that forgiveness if he’s still hanging out with this other girl.

Trust me when I say they’re not just hanging out. He’s still getting a little on the side even when he’s with you.

If he really wants to stick to his promise, he won’t be hanging out with this other girl. He would do everything in his power to make his mistake up to you, but instead, he’s just rubbing in the fact that he cheated.

You need to lose the guy. Find someone new who will treat you like you’re meant to be treated: with respect.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

Over the past several months I have fallen secretly in love with this tall, blonde guy who loves basketball.

I’m pretty sure he’s single, but I haven’t gotten around to talking to him much. Every day during class I dream about his sexy body and how much I want to jump his bones.

I constantly observe his actions, wanting to know more and more about him but just recently, I noticed one action that is a little disturbing.

He is a “gold digger.” And by “gold” I mean green gooberish “treasures.” Not only does he “dig” for them, but he also plays with them and tosses them onto the floor in front of me. I am so attracted to his sexy bod, but what can I do about his daily quest for “gold”?

Should I approach him and pick up his hobby or should I find myself a new man?

Mrs. Boogyman

Dear Mrs. Boogyman,

Go for the gold.

No, seriously, you should. If you’re really attracted to this guy and you think he might like you as well, then go for it.

Everyone has their little quirks. Some people pick the lint out of their belly buttons. Others chew on their nails. And even others spit – a lot.

You need to get over your superficiality and give this guy a chance. Nobody is perfect. He might look like a Greek god, but he’s no Adonis. He’s an average college guy. College guys pick their noses.

Heck, I bet even you pick your nose. It might not be in a public room full of people, but you know you do it.

Don’t worry too much about it. It’s probably not something he’s constantly doing.

He probably thought nobody was looking. But you and your stalker tendencies picked up on his nasty habit. I bet he doesn’t even think you saw him do it.

The situation could be worse. He could have eaten his treasure.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

I read the letters in your column Friday and just wanted to tell the IT guy who could not figure out where the females are, to enroll in a J-School class. I am currently in three and there are probably 20 guys in my classes out of approximately 275 people. The lack of guys makes me question whether I feel like attending class on any given day. It is just nice to know that if the lecture is boring me I can have something nice to look at. The J-School offers a variety of classes but not very much for selection of guys. So if anyone is looking for attractive and intelligent ladies, just take a step inside the doors of murphy hall.

Murphy needs men

Dear Murphy needs men,

Just as a quick clarification to this letter, Murphy Hall has men. And quite a few good looking ones if I say so myself.

I’m sure all the schools around campus are lacking in some way. The J-School isn’t so much lacking as you’re taking the wrong classes. Get out of the public relations track and into the professional journalism track.

And if you’re looking to scope out some J-schoolers, go down to the computer lab. Those lab technicians are quite friendly.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

It’s always been my dream to be a porn star, but my girlfriend hasn’t been very supportive.

For example, she told me that I was only of “average” endowment, and she complains that I can’t do her five times a day. She thinks that because of that, I must be gay! I’m not, and I can do her almost twice a day if you count the orgasms that I’ve faked.

Do you think that I should give up on my dream?

Mad Max

Dear Mad Max,

Follow your dreams, bucko.

If you really want to be a porn star, then go for it. If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to follow your dreams, then do you really want to be with her?

Your significant other is supposed to be supportive in all that you do. If you think you’ve found your calling, then you need to pursue your career as a professional porn star.

Dr. Date