How can I stop feeling like I’m not accomplished?

Just because you and your friends took different paths in life doesn’t mean theirs is better than yours

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Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date, 

I’ve been panicking about my future since freshman year, but as a recent grad, the reality of adulthood is setting in. Job hunting, apartment searches and saying goodbye to all my college friends has put me in an ‘oh my god, what am I doing with my life’ mood since I stepped off the stage in May. Until I can get settled, I moved back home with my parents and have been hanging out with my hometown friends for the past few weeks.

Rather, trying to hang out. While I was off getting my degree, almost all of my friends back home GOT MARRIED. I remember seeing some engagement or wedding posts on Instagram, but when I hit up our old group chat, every single person said they had to check with their spouse before they went out or needed to find a babysitter! I’m not one to shame for finding your true love young, but you couldn’t chill for a bit before settling down? I would say there wasn’t much else to do in a small town, but I live in St. Paul!

I had my fair share of hookups and dates while in college, but never found ‘the one.’ Seeing all my friends living their perfect, domestic lives while I mope around at home with an expensive degree, trying to find a job, makes me feel left behind. I’m tempted to find a military man and marry for the benefits at this point! How can I stop feeling like I’m not accomplished?

Sincerely,

Left Behind

Dear Left Behind,

Oh god, don’t settle down with the first person you meet just because you feel like you have to. The average age of marriage is now somewhere in the late 20s — you’ve got enough on your plate with graduation! Do you want to throw wedding planning onto your list of things to stress about?

Just because you and your friends took different paths in life doesn’t mean theirs is better than yours, and vice versa. You’re worried about being left behind in your personal life, while they may feel like you’re three steps ahead in your professional development as they stayed at home. You all may seem very different, but remember that they’re your friends for a reason. Instead of stressing about the changes in the group since high school, invite your friends —  and their spouses — to hang out and catch up. Hey, maybe you can bond with the rest of them over hating an old friend’s partner?

Sincerely,

Dr. Date