Sheeit. Queen ‘Lizzy’ all ’bout thug life

Queen Elizabeth

What up, yo!
I wanna give a shout out to my peeps at B-Palace before I pound this joint out, peeeeeeaaaaaacee.
Especially on the north side of Ireland. Too many homies poppin’ caps in each other all up in there. Seems like every day I pour some to the curb for my dead homies. Damn.
Awright, check this out, yo.
I be livin’ a lie, day to day, know what I’m sayin’? Deep down in my heart, I live the thug liiiiiife!
I know you suckaz out there is dissin on us Brits. Especially cuz you think I’s a pampered beeaach, gettin’ all the loot from the rents. Don’t matter none, the Windsors been thugs for centuries.
Just look at India, yo. Messed them up somethin’ raw. Turned their tradition out, bringin’ industry and pollution and now check it out. Can’t walk around Bombay witout a gas mask.
And on top of that, stoopid bastards are now hooked on cricket, all because of us.
Then we went on down and cold turned the Falkland Islands OUT!
But I still get all these “subjects” o’ mine whinin’ about being in a monarchy. And don’t bring that shit all up in here about Diana. She wasn’t even related and they all loved her.
And it be like this everyday, Chuck come all up on me wantin’ to have tea and shit … and I’m like, “F-that, yo! I got some Old English 40s cold chillin’ all up in the ice-box, Chuckie. So you’d better take them big-ass ears of yours and recongize.”
I can’t believe he’s chillin’ wit dat Camilla Parker Bowles. They kids gonna look so ugly I’ll have the Royal Navy ship ’em out to some deserted island so they can breed they own clan of ugly people.
Just like we did with Australia. YEAAAHHHH.
Where that Johnny Rotten at? I’ll smack him upside his heroin-addicted face. “God Save the Queen,” he’s goddammed right.
But the thing is, yo, that I couldn’t go out and sho’ the real Queen Elizabeth. Got all that protocol and expectations. They all want you to be all nice and polite and if I wanna grab my junk, I’m gonna grab my junk, dammit.
So now that I’m older than the freakin’ earth, I’m all about bein’ my own self. The peeps are gonna ask: What made you change? Where did you learn about this?
I gots one thing to say: Snoop Doggy Dogg. I checked out his show back in the day in the West End. I came out of that place whoopin’ ass all over. I changed and can I GET A WITNESS?
So, I gots one last thing to say to all my British people: Get some freakin’ braces fo’ yo mouth and take the stick out yo ass.