Ventura hates Americans, loves Penelope Cruz

Cob Woodstein

Just a few short weeks after Gov. Jesse Ventura made his stunning denouncement of American-made cars on a late night talk show, he has – in deference to thousands of angry American citizens – added to his list of unsavory Americana.

Among the disavowed are American-made trucks, American-made bicycles, the band American Hi-Fi and American Airlines.

“I don’t like American, eh, cheese, American Indians or ‘American Pie,'” the governor said. “I also don’t care for American icons, American history, the American flag or the American way. American Bandstand is okay, but I don’t care if I never hear another episode of American Top 40.”

“And I absolutely despise Super America, I always get it confused with the superhero Captain America, and I hate him, too.”

Ventura said he also hates American people in general, including people from Central and South America.

“Except for that Penelope Cruz,” he said. “She’s hot.”

Cruz, who has never met the governor and is from Spain, said, “Um, what?”

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