I don’t like dating apps — can I ever find love?

I'm worried about approaching people, but swiping just doesn't work for me...

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Morgan La Casse

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

If love is a game, then I’m in search of a tutorial. I’ve been single since the end of my last relationship (go figure) before my freshman year, and since then, I’ve had some personal changes. Now, finally freed from my earlier complications, I’m looking for love.

I’ve been trying to be self-motivated to rectify this, downloading apps and swiping (the REAL game of love), but I haven’t had any success. For some reason, I just don’t feel very attached to the connections I make through these services. I think it detracts from my experience, and the others who I converse with, a lot. I just end up regretting a lot of the decisions I make on them.

Although I am primarily a gamer, I have a pretty wide range of interests like cooking and exploring different new music. My interests are important to me, and finding someone I’m a bit alike to would be very nice, but I’m not great at approaching people out of the blue. It’s hard to approach someone like that without the fear you’ll bore them in conversation.

So I turn to you, the TRUE knowledge of all things love on this campus to ask: Where do I start? How do I begin? 

Sincerely,
Gamer for Life

Dear Gamer for Life,

A wise man once told me that all it takes to find love is the right kind of map. Okay, I know, that’s super cliche — but I think you’re on the right path. You’ve determined that dating apps aren’t for you because of the impersonal connections, so why not try something in-person? 

You said it yourself, you have a wide range of interests. While I don’t suggest you join a few groups exclusively for the dating scene, going to a couple Hook Club (for new music) or Minnesota Cooking Club meetings could result in becoming part of an actual couple. You’ll already have things in common, so start up a conversation about the topic and see where it goes from there. And if you don’t find true love, you still can build a community of new friends and have fun doing things you already like. 

Don’t sell yourself short — dating can be a total pain, but remember that most people are also nervous about being boring and dying alone. As long as you’re open to new experiences and won’t be a total jackass if you get turned down, you’ll be alright. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Date