Another story about Daily Sports, because we can

by Hall Way

Amidst the posters, media guides and aging technology, a game unlike any other begins.

The titans of Daily sports are set to due battle in one of the monumental matchups of all time. The kings of chair volleyball, the No. 1 NetPlayerz hosted the No. 2 BigHitterz at the Linehan-Wereshagin Memorial Complex.

“It was HUGE,” fan Yo Mammy said. “I love it when the balls start flying.”

Using a new regulation yellow ball created by the lousy Evolution movie, the newest sport to hit the University is drawing some of the finest writers turned athletes in the nation.

The league is building its name on the intense media attention and its superior athletic supporters.

Meanwhile, players such as the veterans The Big Dawg and Old Feller, youngsters like Stenzer and the Weakest Fink, and making their last appearance The Shalom Slammer and Stretch have turned the league into the preeminent time wasting crusade.

“I have learned from the best,” The Weakest Fink said, kissing ass. “The ‘whoofer’ is the finest front-row player I have ever had the pleasure of competing against.”

While chair volleyball is gaining widespread popularity, even attracting a newsroom audience at times, players are continuously swept away from the field of battle by petty things such as classes and women.

But, don’t tell these brutes of the jump serve this game doesn’t mean anything. These guys play for pride. Red Wing severed an artery while attempting a kill. Not only did he bleed for hours, but, in true gladiator fashion, was ready to return after a short transfusion.

“I must play,” Red Wing said. “I designed the uniforms after all.”

Throughout the match, one player continually answered the call, Fallagio.

“He can go for hours,” Old Feller said. “No, Really, literally like five hours.”

At one stretch, Fallagio played a strong front line earning several kills and blocks, earning PLAYA’ of the match honors.

“He would be one of the greats in the sport if he could stay away from the Admiral Nelson,” The Big Dawg said.

Truth be told, the players have shortcomings. But, they play for the love of the game. A game they were born and bred to play.

At the end the NetPlayerz, led by Fallagio, were victorious.

It was a tearful goodbye for Stretch. The match signified his departure from Daily Sports.

“I now have to go out in the real world and earn a living,” Stretch said. “Or at least play for free.”

Even in departure Stretch shows the true determination of the chair athletes.

Getting it done.

Hall Way covers writers attempting to be athletes and does not solicit comments