Dear Dr. Date,
I wrote to you once earlier this school year. I have a question. I have been dating this guy for almost six months now. Things are going extremely well. I think I am even falling in love with him. However, I am dealing with some things right now. I have been dealing with stress, anxiety and mild depression. I haven’t told him. I am not sure he needs to know, but in a way it would comfort me to have him know. Just him knowing is comfort enough, but in another way I feel as though he doesn’t really need to know. What do you think? Thanks for your help!
— In Love

I’m glad your dating life is going the way you want it to go. As you are quickly realizing, the hardest part of dating isn’t actually getting dates. Once you’ve found someone with whom you appropriately click, you must constantly maintain the relationship and keep it healthy. This is known as work.
You are right, he probably doesn’t need to know all the details of your pain, but why not tell him anyway? Compassion is one of the key elements of love and it starts with you sharing what is happening to you. Of course, there are many different ways in which you can impart this information to him. Some people make their problems other people’s problems. I’m sure you’ve met one or two in your life. This type of person will be in a bad mood and will do any number of annoying things to make sure you are in a bad mood, too. Please don’t do this.
The healthiest approach is to tell him your problems when you aren’t being affected by your problems. In other words, don’t wait until you are raining tears to let him know you are stressed. Instead, take the time to let him know what is going on in your life and prepare him for the fact that these problems may cause you to behave a bit erratically. This way, you can make him feel like a clued-in partner who will want to help you through whatever you need. I find this works best when both people are laughing or pleasantly relaxed.
If you wait until you explode, he may not understand (remember this would be the first he’s heard about something you’ve been stewing over for months). He may even take it personally and react unsupportively.
A healthy relationship that can fight off the inevitable infections of life requires that you talk to your partner on a regular basis. There is little chance he can read your mind, so you’ve got to tell him. You’ll feel better, he’ll feel useful and your relationship will prosper.