Dear Dr. Date,
Last year I wrote to you about a girl I was seeing at the time who had really strong religious convictions that were causing problems in our relationship.
So now it is a year later, and we’ve been broken up since last spring. Still, even though we haven’t been going out for a long time, every time I see her on campus or around Stadium Village — I live in the dorms, she lives in one of the Dinnaken complexes about two blocks away — I get a longing for the ideal side of our former relationship.
We don’t even talk anymore, even though we are in a really tight department together where everyone knows everyone. We avoid each other and each other’s friends, knowing full well the palpable tension between us.
What I want is to be able to know her as a passing acquaintance since she is someone I see every day. Instead, I will see her on the bridge walking to class, and we pass by like reflections of shadows against the iced windows of the bridge.
To be sure, I have gone out with other people since we broke up and have had some success in learning life lessons from those experiences. Still, after spending nearly a year in a close relationship with my former girlfriend, and then having broken up, I find myself missing the magical parts of my former relationship.
I want this person out of my mind. How can I do it? I want to move on, but something is missing in me — self-confidence, maybe. … I don’t really know. All I know is that I want to move on and feel no love for this woman so that when we pass on the bridge the next time, it will only be as acquaintances that we refer to each other — no longer as friends, no longer as lovers, no longer in each other’s life.
— A Puzzled Kidd-O

Everyone gets stuck in the past. Look to your friends for help. Chances are good that they can give you the push you need. Find a couple people you can trust and tell them you can’t get over this woman. They’ll likely tell you that you’re crazy. As individuals, we tend to forget why our relationships went bad. Fortunately, our friends remember quite easily and can relate that information to you.
It sounds as though your life has gotten into a rut. Find a way to shake things up by taking a road trip or vacation out of town. Rearrange your furniture. Move to a new apartment. Go to a new restaurant. Take all your old clothes to the Salvation Army. Do anything you can to make your surroundings look different than they do now.