Net: Every school year, a few standard Networkian debates seem to spring up.
What’s the deal with squirrels?
Why do frats/sororities suck?
Why do Carlson suits suck?
Why is Network so damn good in bed?
Why does my teacher not speak English?
What’s the deal with socks?
And most of today’s episode (##425 Edge of Destruction) deals with one of the most common: Do IT people suck? Or are they cool in some kitschy way? Hooray.From Buckaroo: Net, it’s the Buckaroo again… and bite me. “Silly Macintosh users,” eh? Unless you still use your Commodore 64 Net: For most of our general word processing, yes. When we need pure computing power we bring out the Timex Sinclair. When we desire heavy-duty graphical abilities we just hook the light pen accessory to our Vectrex and plug in the Animaction cartridge I have a feeling you are one of the masses of Win-idiots out there who piss and moan about Macs and all the while have no idea of what you are talking about. Macs are and always have been easier to use, Net: Helpful Bozo the Dancing Clown skips across the screen to retrieve your lost files easier to service, Net: Especially iMacs! Hmm Á I think I’ll add another internal hard drive Á OH WAIT and much less frequently crash (unless you are in a lab, in which case BUY YOUR OWN DAMN COMPUTER!). I’ll give you a blue screen of DOS death up your sphincter quicker than you can say “Steve Jobs can kill Bill Gates’ pimply nerd ass.” In closing, get a clue and get a Mac. Net: And the colors are so tripppppyyyy Á And stop being a statistic, a percentage. Net: We’re perfectly happy being 17 percent Be an individual … “it will be glorious” and you shall not prevail!!!!!!! GO 1984!!!!!!!! Net: Wethinks we just went over our exclamation mark quota for the whole week Á guess we’ll have to switch to tildes~~~~~
From SweetKillerBees: Net, what’s up beautiful? In response to all IT supporting freaks (Yes were talking about IT students because no one else likes them!). We have had the unfortunate pleasure of being acquainted to IT students. Even though they don’t wear X-Files T-shirts or look like someone from The Simpsons, they are just as sad. We are speaking from experience, cause we were once friends with them. All that they do for fun is to stay in their dorm room and play computer games by themselves. Net: Someday, you’ll wish you had their hand-eye coordination On the weekends, however, (Because IT students like to have “fun” too! Net: Giddy-up~) they invite the only three friends that they have (We had no part in this anti-social activity) over to play Dungeons and Dragons (Did we mention EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND?). This is so SAD! They think this activity is the most fun that college has to offer and yet they still think that they are smarter than the rest of us. Do not feel bad for these sorry IT people. All they do is sit around and brag about how smart they are (Perhaps this is why they only have three friends Net: Three~ Hot damn~ Maybe we should be in IT). If we were anything like these people we would jump off the Wash. Ave Bridge and do the U of MN a favor (Net, we’re willing to help them jump!). NUT to you IT students. No one likes you. GET A LIFE! Later, Net. Net: Hate destroysFrom Ne Ne the CSoM Warrior: Hola Network and networkians. I must respond to the outrage caused by Abbey Someone’s entry. Every single IT student thinks they are superior to the general population of the world. Net: That’s because of their +3 Penis of Ejaculation If asked to explain their superiority, an IT student will undoubtedly reply “Have you taken Calc three?” or “Do you have any idea how hard C++ is?” (begin sarcasm) This isn’t a bad way to be. So what if your average IT student prefers the familiarity of their right (or left, for all of you south paws) hand to a real sexual partner. At least they’re good at math (end sarcasm). Maybe, just maybe, having the ability to “morphically transform arbitrary sets into abelian groups” Net: IN BED~~~ makes you a huge geek. IT students are masturbating, pocket-protector-wearing, computer-humping, poorly washed geeks. The next time an IT student tries to assert their superiority over you, just smile and think to yourself “what a nerd,” or just kick the bastard your choice. Net: Yowsa Á looks like somebody won’t be getting his or her computer fixed From 7 year CLA guy: Aye Nerds, Will you quit cloggin up the Network with your crap mail please. No one wants to hear about PlayStation vs. Sega DreamCast. Net: Obvious winner: Atari 2600 We wanna see some real discussions. Something of interest to CLA students. Net: Skipping class? Social lives? Booze? Like is it true that smoking marijuana seeds will make you sterile? Net: Depends on which orifice you smoke with Only I was smoking in the other day in the Buckeye parking lot. I think I might have accidentally got some seeds in the pipe by mistake. Net: Two words: WATER PIPE~ It tasted kinda bitter at first but I just shook it off. I only paid 20 dollars for a quarter of it so I figure I was getting what I paid for. Net: Take it back, ask for a refund. Did you keep the receipt? Than I went over to see my bitch PopeJohnPaulII and I couldn’t get it up. I had the bag on his head and everything, but it still didn’t work. Now I know for IT people not being able to get it up is not a big deal, since you have little use for your penis. Net: It is an efficient exit for urine But for CLA guys not being to get it up would be the equivalent of IT kids not being able to get to the third level of “Tomb Raider.” IT’S EMBARASSING! Can some one out there in Network land tell me if the rumors are true or I am just stressing out about semester finals?
From Silencerstallion: Hey Network, this is to respond to Abbey Someone. Here is the deal on IT STUDENTS: We are the smartest bastards in the entire U of M and the fact of it is that while most of us are lazy anti-social bastards, some of us actually go to parties and have many friends and a hot girlfriend such as ME! Net: You’re the hot girlfriend of lots of IT guys? Sentence structure is fun Furthermore, don’t be intimidated because we outclass you on everything from sex to sports. Just remember the next time you try to down an IT student that in reality no matter what u say we think and quote “YOU ARE NUTTING STUPID” and ignore that the fact that you envy our lifestyle and the fact that unlike all the men you have dated we are not mindless jocks! And we are real men! Net: With naughty bits and everything! SO while you keep thinking we are freaks I’ll keep scoring with the women with class and not your sorry ass! Net: I hope we’ve all learned something today Á