Dear Readers,I’m …

Dear Readers,
I’m at an unusual loss for words. I’m surrounded by moving boxes and my sweetheart is loading boxes into the rental truck while I write this — my last column as Dr. Date. Judging by the amount of work that she’s doing compared to what I’m doing (staring blankly at a computer screen) I think I’ll need some dating advice of my own if I don’t hurry. We’re leaving for Europe in a few days and I won’t be able to write from abroad. While I love the idea of writing dating advice from a Greek island or a cafÇ in Prague, I doubt the advice would be particularly applicable to students at the University of Minnesota.
After much deliberation, the Daily executives have decided to retire the column rather than pass it on to another writer. It’s too early to tell what exactly will be put in this space, but don’t look for anything new right away. The Daily will probably run old columns until the end of the semester and start something new (cartoon, new column, soft porn, etc.) next semester. I’m sure they’d appreciate a little direction, so write in to the Daily and let the editors know what you’d like to see.
In addition to the slew of dating and sex questions that you send me, I also get a few questions about me and this column. I had toyed with the idea of disclosing my identity, but I decided against that because over the years people I know who don’t know I write this column have written in for advice. I’ll spare them the embarrassment.
People also want to know if I’m crazy. I’ve always had trouble with that question. If you think you are crazy, you probably aren’t. It’s the people who think they are completely sane who worry me. Some people have also written in who want to know if I’d be willing to accept God into my life as a last ditch effort to save my damned soul. That’s a tough question, too. I’m not going to hell, at least not because of anything I’ve written in this column.
The most common question that I receive concerning Dr. Date is who writes the column one person, a group of people, or a succession of people? Dr. Date has only been written by myself with a little help from some real doctors, nurses, and the staff at Boynton. On occasion, I have passed a question off to one of the ever-helpful Love Nurses.
Thank you reading my column. Thank you for giving me a chance to help you with your troubles. Thank you for allowing me to indulge myself. It’s been amazing.

Goodbye!

— Dr. Date