Acme Comedy Company
708 N. First St.
You may remember Tom Segura from his legendary performance as âÄúBear Suit GuyâÄù on an episode of the short-lived CBS sitcom âÄúGary Unmarried,âÄù but if not, there’s still reason to check him out live. His delivery is so dead-pan, and his jokes are so atypically funny that he is somehow capable of walking into offensive comedy territory and returning unscathed.
He has a âÄúComedy Central PresentsâÄù half-hour special, and a âÄúConanâÄù appearance to his name. Segura’s 2010 album âÄúThrilledâÄù was recorded in Minneapolis and began with mockery of our state’s âÄúLand of 10,000 LakesâÄù motto. Maybe he’s got more to say about us.
The Princess Bride: A Drinking Game!
10 W. Lake St.
From the information provided online, it’s hard to tell exactly what will be happening at this event’s first show outside of Los Angeles, but whatever it is will probably be a good time: some combination of drinks, the classic ’80s film and a live performance by Twin Cities actors. Watching a crowd of drunken people reciting, âÄúHello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die,âÄù alone would probably be worth the price of admission. Not attending would be, wait for it, inconceivable! Just kidding, it would be conceivable. ItâÄôs just a line from the movie. Never mind.
805 Hennepin Ave.
Having achieved icon status in the indie world during his decade-long self exile, the former front man of Neutral Milk Hotel will stop in Minneapolis as part of his international tour and return to the public eye. The word on these shows is that they have been intense and emotional, always resulting in cathartic and nostalgic crowd-wide sing-a-longs. Stereogum’s review of a New Jersey performance was simply and probably accurately titled, âÄúJeff Mangum Makes People Cry.âÄù Leave the eye makeup at home, ladies/bros.
CULTURE TO CONSUME
Listen to this: âÄúSomethingâÄù by Chairlift
So far, the duo Chairlift is best known for being featured in an iPod commercial, but don’t hold that against them (besides, it was a pretty cool commercial). Their new album is full of beautiful, lush, âÄô80s influenced pop songs. Most tracks pulse and rattle like the best of Tears for Fears or Pet Shop Boys. Sometimes, singer Caroline Polachek’s voice brings St. Vincent’s Annie Clark to mind, but the songs here have a much softer edge than hers and don’t venture too far from lovely electronic pop. They donâÄôt need to, though.
Eat this: Pizza bagels
Might be infringing on the sports writersâÄô territory here, but I have some breaking news for you guys: The Super Bowl is on Sunday. As kids, we attended our parentsâÄô Super Bowl parties, and had to eat actually half- decent food like little toothpick sandwiches or spinach artichoke dip or something. No more. Now we have our own Super Bowl parties, and the only way to celebrate is with pizza bagels. Invented by someone really smart, probably Einstein (fact check?), they are small enough to justify one more, no matter how many youâÄôve already eaten. This is a crucial trait for a food to have on a day that will be spent doing nothing but sitting and eating. Also itâÄôs a combination of pizza and bagels, two great foods. ItâÄôs not rocket science, you guys.
Watch this: Puppy Bowl VIII
Speaking of the Super Bowl, there is also this. It is nothing more than dogs running around and terrible/awesome puns (âÄúunnecessary ruff-nessâÄù gets called about every five minutes, even on completely clean plays), but thereâÄôs nothing wrong with that, is there? This year’s Puppy Bowl will premiere at 3 p.m., Sunday on Animal Planet, well before the actual Super Bowl, so sports fans can enjoy both. But if you’re tired of Super Bowl viewing year after year âÄî or youâÄôre from Wisconsin and still bitter about … something âÄî you can avoid it altogether because the Puppy Bowl will rerun until 3 a.m. on Monday morning. That sounds like a lame joke, but it is not. It is true.
Read this: âÄúA Bad Idea IâÄôm About to DoâÄù by Chris Gethard
Chris Gethard, actor, comedian and member of the Upright Citizens Brigade, has recently taken to YouTube as a platform for telling other authors he is better than them, usually while shirtless. The list of authors he has attacked so far is long, and includes Dr. Suess, R.L. Stine and Stephen Hawking, among others. He is joking (I think). ItâÄôs all just a way of promoting his most recent book, which includes humor-driven but occasionally poignant stories about subjects like moving cross-country, acting in commercials and being mistaken for a virgin. Better than Kurt Vonnegut, like he told us online? Probably not. But itâÄôs still a fun read.