Dear Dr. Date, I m…

Dear Dr. Date,
I met the man of my dreams last spring quarter in one of my night classes. I am a pretty outgoing person, so it surprised me when I couldn’t think of anything to say. Well, we started hanging out a bit after class every week and soon we bonded like I’ve never bonded with any man in my life. I felt very strongly for him. We dated and he ended up being the first guy I slept with. I became completely miserable when I found out I couldn’t afford to stay in Minneapolis for the summer. I had to move home to Wisconsin. All summer I thought of him. I came up here a few times to visit, but that didn’t stop our relationship from ending.
But then he avoided me when I moved back up here this school year. So, a few months later, he decided to come back into my life. I can’t explain how amazing he still is. The weird thing is that I love to have sex with him, but the emotional attachment doesn’t seem to be there any more. The sex this time is incredible! There is just this confusing commitment factor I can’t shake from my mind. Am I avoiding the relationship issue because I got hurt in the past? Why is sex so amazing when you are with your ex? Is it bad to keep this relationship just sexual and stay great friends? Please comment! Thanks!
— La Vedette

The only bad thing that I can foresee is that over time you may forget about your heart. At this point in your life, the relationship you are enjoying is great. At some future point, it might not be what’s right for you. The challenge will be to make sure you can recognize the need for change when it comes. This may not be as easy as it sounds. In your situation, it can be easy to grow accustomed to each other. Choices such as living together may arise one day and as you weigh your options you might decide it’s simply easier to stay with him even if he isn’t the best person for you. One day you may wake up and find your life totally dissatisfying, but you because you were unable to see clearly, you made choices that prevented an easy departure.
Despite this ominous premonition, I still think you’ll be OK. Being honest with both yourself and your partner is crucial. Enjoy the sex! It’s sweeter because performance doesn’t have an impact on the rest of your life. Instead of wondering about the future, you can concentrate on the moment.