Women in black pants more likely to garner hot sex

by Rebecca Czaplewski

As the staple wardrobe piece of most young college women, black pants have been linked to an increase in what University researchers call “action.”
After months of research at bars and dance clubs throughout the metro area, University officials said women wearing black pants were more likely to report incidents of “getting a piece.”
“We’ve spent countless nights at many downtown bars, such as Brother’s,” said researcher Bill Gregory. “Our team can conclude, without a doubt, that women wearing black pants attracted more young, college-age men.”
But the findings do hinge on some specifications for the pants.
They must be black and the fit of the pants is also a factor — as Gregory said, “the tighter, the better.” Slightly flared pants also fared well in the report, along with those that hit just below the navel. Despite being the season’s hottest trend, capri pants received mixed reviews.
The report might be making waves throughout the fashion world, but University women aren’t surprised by the research.
“I’ve known that black pants were a magnet to guys since, like, the 11th grade,” said sophomore Jessi Roberts. “My roommates and I totally always wear them when we use our fakes to go out to the bars.”
Junior Dana Wagner agreed with Roberts’ sentiments.
“I have about five or six pairs of them,” Wagner said. “They’re so versatile — when some drunk guy spills his beer on you, it just blends right in.”
A closer look at University bars and dance clubs reveals that the drunken young men do indeed take notice of women in black pants.
“Yeah, I guess a lot of guys are attracted to chicks who wear black pants,” said sophomore Lex Montgomery, who spent last Saturday night at Spanky’s. “I probably got together with most of my past girlfriends because of that reason alone.”
Montgomery added he had never had a girlfriend for more than a weekend.
Other than being versatile and attractive to the opposite sex, University women say black pants are simply a confidence-builder for a night out on the town.
“When I wear my new black pants from Express, all eyes are on me,” said freshman Tracy Johnson-Holmes. “Every cute baseball hat-wearing, Tommy Hilfiger cologne-spritzing guy in the place will be looking at me.”