You’re ugly, and I bet your mom is too: looks-based quiz

Quiz: Do you need a makeover?

1. Flat out: Are you ugly?
2. Does your hair look more like a grease trap from Stub and Herb’s than a style?
3. Have your teeth turned yellow from smoking, a habit you thought would attract men?
4. Do your friends often mistake pictures of Jan Gangelhoff in the newspaper for you?
5. When you’re dancing at a club, do all of the men migrate away from you?
6. Do you more eat TV dinners more than three times a day?
7. Can you count the number of dates you have had in the past two years on one hand?
8. Have you ever considered getting a boob job just so men would notice you?
9. Have you seen, taped and categorized every episode of Dawson’s Creek since the series premiere?
10. Do you read Network for dating tips?
(Extra credit: Do you own a Saturn?)

If you answered yes to seven or more of these questions, you ugly.
If you answered yes to between four and six of these questions, you haven’t had a date since 1982.
If you answered yes to two or three of these questions, you’re lookin’ pretty homely.
And if you answered yes to any of these questions at all, you’ve got problems.
But if you answered no to all of these questions, you must be as pretty as Joey from “Dawson’s Creek.”