Dear Dr. Date,
I’m crushing big-time on this one girl who’s in a cool band, and somehow we started hanging out. I never thought I’d be able to pull it off, but I just went right up to her after a show this past weekend, and we really hit it off. I’m definitely trying to make things happen with her because she’s cool, talented and gorgeous.
The one holdup is that I’m coming down with a really nasty cough. I really wanted to give her a kiss when we hung out yesterday, but I kept thinking in my head how jerkish it would be for me to get her sick after I just met her. The feelings are still there, and it’s tough to keep them bottled up inside because she’s such a dang cutie. What do you think? Should I just go for it? Or is it too much too soon to risk getting this new girl sick?
—License to Ill
License to Ill,
It’s as true today as it was when Beyonce said it: Nobody likes an Ill Jill. You’re entering some pretty interesting territory when you risk having a new bump-it come down with some semi-long-term sickness, so tread lightly.
The part of me that likes watching “Empire” and falling asleep holding a glass of red wine at 10 p.m. is saying you should just play it safe. But the part of me that wakes up on a frequent basis with new bruises and 100-second Snapchat stories says go for it anyway. You could totally just mark out your territory in this gal’s immune system, and there’s something deeply reckless but hot
there.
I guess what it really comes down to is what you want do with this girl. You might as well get this fire started while things are already heating up, and you’ll probably get her sick one way or another. It just might as well be the health-related reason, right?
—Dr. Date
Dr. Date,
My boyfriend, by most accounts, is a pretty normal-ish guy. He’s definitely got that special something that draws me to him, but there’s not much about him that’s crazy or anything. He’s just a sweet, gentle guy who makes me happy.
But my whole outlook on him changed really recently when he told me that he would be sexually aroused if I choked him a little bit during sex. Obviously it wouldn’t get to the point of him passing out or dying, but it’s just a little something he’s been asking me to do when we get intimate lately.
I’m really afraid of trying it out because I’m pretty uncomfortable with it. Of course I want to help my boyfriend enjoy our sex life more, but his request really caught me off guard. I can’t decide if I should try it out to make him happy or if I should just leave this one alone. Thoughts?
—Choking Hazard
Choking Hazard,
Sounds to me like your perfect man has a fun, I mean kinky, side. It’s really easy to slide into boring, safe habits, and it shows that he really trusts you by opening up to you about his desires. I’m sure he’s experienced a lot of doubt and shame by wanting something that’s so easy to make fun of, so don’t make him regret it.
As long as your body control is at least one step above Jennifer Lawrence’s, you should try choking your boyfriend for fun. It’ll really mean a lot to him as the feeling in his brain takes on an opium-like high, I’m sure. And looking into the eyes of a beloved partner as they do you a big solid is always beautiful. I almost wish I were there to witness it.
And at the very least, you could get some practical experience for if you ever need to choke out an op. Self-defense and love have never been closer.
—Dr. Date
