Dear Dr. Date,I’m writing to you in desperation to get my hands on your highly publicized “Guide to Fellatio” that ran on Jan. 29th. You see, I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about seven months and he’s only had an orgasm through oral sex once. With my last boyfriend I had it down to a science. I had him wrapped around my finger with my fellatio technique. You’ve got to believe me. Now I only see my current lover every six weeks or so as he lives on the west coast. That puts a lot of pressure on us to have large amounts of amazing sex when we’re together. And we do. But I just can’t satisfy him orally and it’s becoming a sore spot in our relationship. Sensing his frustration with the situation, I asked him for tips. He said I could use my teeth and even bite!!!! OK, so this goes against everything I’d ever learned about oral sex. He also likes me to take his full length in to my mouth which often makes me gag and my eyes water. During his last visit, he lost his erection every time my lips touched his penis. He’s always taken great pleasure in receiving fellatio, so it’s obviously a problem with me. Everything else in our relationship is intense and wonderful and I want to bring his orgasms up to par. So as you can see, I clearly need your wise instruction. I would be eternally grateful if you could send me a copy of your column. Thanks.— Help Me
You can find a copy of that column at my new website, www.doctordate.com. Many of my other columns are there as well for you to read and share. I hope they can help you.
I think it’s great that you want to please your man so completely, but sometimes that in itself can be the turn off. People grow uncomfortable if they feel someone is doing something out of obligation rather than desire. The increasing pressure you are putting on one another is just making things worse as well. Reexamine your intentions. Don’t fellate him if you just want to please him. Rather, do it if you really want to. Simple, honest enthusiasm can be the biggest turn on for men.
As far as the biting and deep throating goes, I don’t think he really understands what he wants either. I encourage both of you to put your past lovers behind you and develop a new love method that works for you. By constantly comparing your current sex life with old ones, you are only increasing the pressure on one another. Good luck.