Dear Dr. Date,
I read your articles most every day, and I always like to read to see if somehow I am related to the person’s problem. Some of them I am, but most are not. Well, my current problem is that I am single and having a hard time meeting girls. I am a very shy person when meeting girls, maybe because I am scared of rejection. I haven’t dated in a while, well over eight months. I am constantly told by my friends (girls) that I am a very very good looking guy and that I am one of the nicest guys they know. I am a normal guy who played sports in high school, plays intramurals here in college, likes to party, likes to have fun and likes girls. I miss having a relationship, and after such a long absence, I feel down and depressed at times. What can I do to meet girls? What do you think my problem is? I feel like if I get a girlfriend, I’ll forget what to do and act like in a relationship. I have way too many things that I worry about and really really just want a girlfriend. Any advice would be helpful. Thanks.
— Restless

When you lie down to go to sleep, do you ever listen to your heart beat? It’s quite nice and most importantly, to do it correctly, you need to free your mind of all the other nonsense floating around in it. Try it tonight. It won’t get you dates, but it’s a start.
Most of your letter is unneccesary fretting. There is nothing wrong with you except for the one thing you point out yourself. You are afraid of rejection. Many people are afraid of this. I’ve always found it interesting that a person can be confident in a job interview and hopeless trying to woo a potential partner. Perhaps there is something in your life that you are not shy about that you could extrapolate a great analogy for.
First, learn to relax and be patient. It’s nice that your girl friends think you are good looking, but you need to believe that yourself. Think of yourself as the most eligible bachelor on campus. Aren’t you? You are active, smart, good looking and someday soon, you’ll be succesful. These are generally great attributes. What isn’t a great attribute is your stress. Be proud of what you do and do it well. Constantly expand your cultural influences by doing new things with new people. Be friendly, but don’t hide the fact that you are a sexual individual that would love to have fun, date and get frisky. You’ve got it all inside of you. Start tonight by listening to the way your heart beats. It’s fascinating.