This pig had one hell of a night

Alexander Brodsky

Are humans losing their edge in partying? For thousands of years people have been on top of the partying food chain but after the drunken antics of this pig, I'm not too sure anymore. Here I thought if humankind were ever to lose their partying crown it'd be to primates (or possibly some of the smarter dogs.) But this feral pig played us all for chumps. At least we've still got partying heroes like Jim Morillo, whose newsworthy drunken antics rival that of the pig. 
When it comes down it, I have to respect this hog. Aside from Babe, I think I can relate to it more than any other swine. After all, who among us hasn't drunk 18 beers and "[looked] through rubbish bags for something to eat," fought a cow and passed out under a tree? 
One last note: British newspapers rule. They managed to fit "torch," "scrunching" and "shenanigans" all into a single sentence.