Network: UsedToCare; BringBackMyNetweork; Ena

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i used to be a big fan of yours but since the election youve kinda become this liberal whiny piece of NUTT. Net: It’s indicative of the impoverishment of political vocabulary in the United States that you think we’re “liberal.” we won and you need to deal with that most of the country wanted Bush again because maybe he cant string two words together but at least he is man enough to take a side on an issue. also in response to artlovingsandalwearer who trys to tell us that we (the republicans) are just war mongerers and that all of our civil rights are because of liberals i would like to remind you that all of the liberties that you speak of were gained by a war, and the only liberties that you hippies got us is the right to kill innocent babies. so Network why dont you just shout your NUTTing mouth for the next four years and if you cant do that then try leaving the country (maybe you would like it in china you communist). Net: Oh, we’ll be “shouting” our mouth, all right.

From BringBackMyNetwork

I just have one question for all of those political, whiny brats out there, republican or democrat. Did you guys not get the memo? Well let me tell you again. MEMO:THE ELECTION IS OVER! Bush is President. End of story. It is not going to change for FOUR years, so freaking deal with it already! Get off your goddamn soap boxes and save it for the next election. I, and everyone else, am sick of hearing it! And if so many of you hate America that much…then leave! But don’t expect to get back in when Canada SUCKS and Europe collectively spits in your Yankee face. Damn. What happened to the pre-election Network where we all worried about the anti-albino squirrels trying to overthrow the gray squirrel’s crown, and dumbass ITers locking their bikes to their asses and blaming innocent CLAers? Why can’t more people write in about girls pooping their pants in class, and bikers running down rollerbladers and pedestrians? I miss those days. Let’s bring them back! Stop this political-baby nonsense. Stop fighting over the best “new mascot” because Goldy is here to stay. Get a freaking sense of humor people! It will make you live longer. Isn’t that what Network is all about?

So, to that guy in Friday’s Dr. Date: Yes. White girls love black guys…just go for the ones without their heads up their asses! We LOVE GOLDY! And last, but not least…AMERICA! NUTT YEAH! Net: We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: Satire is wasted on Americans.

From Ena

In the midst of all this political strife taking over my beloved back page, I beg for sanity in my fellow Networkians. As a token of my gratitude for these four years, I present you, Dear Net, with a sonnet:

Last Tuesday was a bust for some of us

no more political bullNUTT for me

(forgive me Net, I felt the urge to cuss)

Why not revert to talk of anarchy?

More potshots at why CLA does suck

Someone complain about earning a buck

And please tell us about your urge to mate

Oh Net I long for olden days of you

For once I’ve gone out into this wide world

no more of this back page I am to view

but will be found ’round your back page so curled

My crossword lost, and Dr. Date gone too

but most of all, my Net I will miss you. Net: Touching, but dubious. If you all don’t want to hear about politics, then write about squirrels for jayzus sake! We’re all about serving YOU, the customer.