You feel precious time slipping away, and you realize your best educated guess is all that will save your Spring Break.
You follow your nose, because you smell a rodent.
You realize you have to, just this once, turn your back on your fellow, destitute University students. You decide to join the dark side. You apply to become a Rodent so you can infiltrate the offices and find out just what happened to your plane ticket.
Minutes later you find yourself seated inside a dark, creepy room participating in the strangest interview you’ve ever had.
“A worthless college-punk begs you not to tow his car because he’s donating plasma this month just to survive — whaddaya tell him?” asks the interviewer, who sits with his back turned to you in his swivel chair, chomping on a giant cigar that glows bright in the shadowy room.
You gulp as you answer this final question, “I silently put his piece-of-junk car on the tow and then reluctantly offer to give him a ride to the impound lot, where I will laugh about his predicament the entire way.”
Suddenly, the interviewer turns. He looks like he just stepped out of the Thriller video. “Welcome aboard,” he says. The office door bursts open and the entire Thriller cast rushes toward you, welcoming you into the Rodent family.
You grab your chair and swing it desperately at the oncoming horde. Two zombies drop to the ground, decapitated. But the rest bare their fangs in a chorus of hissing.
As they overrun your position, you feel your eyes burn yellow and fur start to grow on your body, you suddenly don’t care about spring break. You’re a Rodent. Let’s go tow.