Phillip Morris admits targeting young folk!

Reporter Reporter

In response to the teen movement, Teens Against Tobacco Use, tobacco industry officials admitted using their annual $5 billion advertising budget to targeting minors.
“Of course we target minors — you guys are suckers!” said a Phillip Morris official. “The American adolescent is the best target market ever conceived. The question is not, ‘why are we targeting you?’ The question is, ‘how come you can’t think for yourselves?'”
A tobacco industry official said they decided to fight back because they were irritated with the “stupidity of these kids who don’t even know what they’re fighting for.”
Teens Against Tobacco use is an awareness program to create a smoke-free society. Created in 1988, the program aims for a smoke-free class of 2000.
Although it has reached more than 400,000 teens, the odds are against the program. Every day, nearly 5,000 teens smoke their first cigarette.
The annoyed tobacco companies say that their advertisements portray sex and independence because these are themes that appeal particularly to teenagers.
“I just can’t believe it took them so long to realize that. Teenagers really are stupid,” said Tom Joneses, a Camel official.
Tobacco companies say they are confident that the movement will not have any impact on the popularity of tobacco among teens. They said the movement is just giving the adolescents something to do rather than making them aware of the harms of tobacco use.
During the movement’s nationwide protests last week, several teenagers were seen smoking while holding posters and flags that promoted banning cigarettes.
The president of the teen movement, Allen Rosenberg, a 17-year-old smoker, said that it is fun to see teens across the country fighting against the same thing –excluding their parents.
“You know, it’s cool, we go out there, we protest, you know, it’s a lot of fun,” he said.
Rosenberg has been a smoker since the age of nine. Although he could not name any health problem associated with smoking, he knew that tobacco use could increase one’s chances of some kind of problem.
He said he was incapable of quitting and that smoking also made him feel “cool.”
The fight between the teenagers and the tobacco companies will be taken to national television. The two parties will have their first debate on the Jerry Springer Show, Wednesday. Other television shows plan on hosting similar debates.

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