… and we are intrigued. Our foray into public opinion research, the Woobie Poll, is complete, and we find we have some interesting findings.
First, we would like to thank the 30 people who wrote in — it was good to have a nice, round number to make the math easier. Also, we appreciated the comments some of you added to your notes.
Our tabulations are in, and this is what we found. For the first question regarding the residences of A&F jacket wearers, we found dorm residents in the lead, with 16 of 30 living in residence halls. Fraternities were second, with nine. Only six of our woobie-wearers lived in independent off-campus housing.
Regarding college, CLA — the largest college at the University — was the choice of 17 woobie wearers, with GC a distant second at six. The other seven were represented by one each from the College of Biological Sciences, IT, CSOM, CHE, the College of Agriculture and Landscape Architecture and University College.
Squirrels enjoy a wide base of support among woobie-wearers, as 25 of the 30 respondents supported the squirrels. Of course, we did not ask what the squirrels were being supported about, a flaw of our research. This could merit further study.
Packer support was surprisingly thin. Although they jumped out to early competitiveness, a late last-minute rush of entries found the Vikings on top by a touchdown, 14-7. Nine writers said they detested both teams equally or just didn’t care. Sorry, Pack fans — it looks like even apathy beat you out.
Our final question regarding color raised a lot of sensitivities. Four writers told us the question was none of our business. One said, “invisible,” whatever that means. Another said color was revealed “by appointment only,” perhaps confusing his own woobie with President Clinton’s. However, among the 24 who did specify, yellow won with 12. Green, red and orange each received four — a result that would make for a great pie graph.
What does all this mean? Most probably, our survey is much like a tale told to an idiot. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. But that’s what we’re all about, and thanks to our readers, we now have data to reinforce, contradict and create stereotypes. And what else is the media for?
Once again, thank you for your participation. Although we don’t think that surveys will become a regular part of our coverage, we will announce our next poll in Monday’s Network. Try to contain your enthusiasm.
Here are a couple surveys we received:

From A Reader: 1. I live in an apartment.
2. General College (by choice)
3. Anti-squirrel. I hate squirrels. The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel, preferably served with rice and hot sauce. Will President Yudof be serving squirrel pancakes on May 18 at the big pancake fest in St. Paul?
4. Vikings (by default).
5. Invisible (like “The Emperor’s New Clothes).

From Another Reader: 1. I am proud to say I live off campus!
2. I am not stupid, GC.
3. As for the squirrels, I fear for the well-being of the campus. Pro-squirrel.
4. Vikings or Packers? Hmmmmmmmmmm … They both suck.
5. The color of my Woobie is none of your business. It’s a personal thing.

Net: Hiding behind windows, climbing under gutters and finding the truth, our correspondent has been observing and handicapping his/her heart out. Today we have this From The Network Political Correspondent: It’s been a busy week for our wacky band of MSA candidates. Let’s see how they’ve been doing:

Change (from last update): Up one point.
Recent Actions: It’s great to see two candidates citing their diverse backgrounds as a strength — no one’s ever done that before. Be careful saying you’re the only candidates with realistic goals: Actual realists will be turned off by your mistaken belief that MSA can accomplish something.

Change: Up two points
Recent Actions: Excellent push from the activism/grassroots direction.
Young Minnesotans love nothing more than thinking they’re changing things while expending no real energy. If you can package the whole 60s-cum-’90s scam and attach it to one check-box on the ballot you’ve got a lock. Remember — “Progressive Justice” isn’t just a bullshit term cooked up by last year’s losers — oh wait, it is. Ramen … nice touch.

Change: No Change
Recent Actions: More good posters. More bad posters. Definitely tops in poster diversity. Now it’s time for a stunt, you two.

Change: Down one point
Recent Actions: Some more and better signs. Not quite Miller-esque in their humor, but not bad. Still, why are we to believe that a member of the MSA old guard is going to do anything to change the organization? Too bad about the failure to give any concrete promise in your Daily interview.
And on that note let me issue a challenge to all four tickets: Enough with the pleasant-sounding, content-void campaign rhetoric. Let’s see some solid, quantifiable promises, so that we’ll have things to yell at you for not doing once you’re elected and fail to do them (Example: The 15-minute waiting policy from Madia/Murphy).