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The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

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Network for September 8, 2004

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From: Willie Small

Cialis is an amazing new prescription medication that has recently been approved for the treatment of erectile dysfunction haunt screwdriver Net: Hold on a second now. First you tell us that you have a new medicine to promote, and now you’re into haunted screwdriver territory. This is getting a little too weird. it takes effect within 15 minutes, and lasts up 36 hours. It has no known side effects, and it works for over 88% of men deductible bqorjbu wpeyqxjrtxmr kiqfu ilzks uvyd jpcfom xa qva Net: Okay, now you’ve just stopped making sense completely. We used to have an 88% deductible bqoribu for our kiqfu, but we called Progressive and they were able to offer us a deductible of only 20%. Why would any rational person pay 88%? Compared to Viagra, which takes effect within 1 hour, and lasts only 4 hours.dey iiac bk b kw if you act now, you can get Cialis for less than Viagra. Net: Well Mr. Small, we were a little confused for a minute, but you make a good case for your product. Please sign us up for a one-month supply xolgno eohfopi xclnpooeld.

From: Perry Woods

Is a new home loan what you seek or refinance your current loan, we can help. Net: Well clearly you NEED some help with your grammar. Rates haven’t been this low in the last 40 years. Net: Now you’re cooking with gas! But we’re a bit concerned: Most of the time when we ask for a low rate, others have offered a resounding “NO!” Where others say NO, we say YES. Net: You gotta be kidding! This must be our lucky day! Even if you have been turned down elsewhere, we can help. Net: Yes, yes, enough with the help already. Take just 1 minute to complete the following form. Net: A whole minute? We got an e-mail last week from a guy whose form only took eight seconds to fill out. There is no obligation, This service is fast and free. Net: Hey, if there’s no obligation, you might as well just take our credit card number right now!

From: Ida Burroughs

precious4pluggable Net: That’s an odd salutation if we’ve ever seen one. Want to DROP a Few Pounds? Net: Oh no, we’re not falling for that one again! Last time somebody asked us that we wound up decapitated with our brain in a jar. Name Brand PHENTERMINE, ADIPEX, DIDREX, MORE! Would like to RELIEVE Some Pain? Net: We sure would! The gentlemen who usually supply our Oxycontin have run into some Ö business difficulties, let’s say, and they’re going to be going on a little Ö retreat for a few years to a more structured environment where they can practice their yoga. Get VICODIN, HYDROCODONE, FIORICET, OTHERS! NO Previous Prescriptions, NO Appointments Prescriptions FDA Approved with US Physicians on Staff Net: Our old physician was more what you call a “horse doctor” but he definitely came through with the pills for us when we were jonesing. Don’t Worry, Secure Ordering and Shipped Discreetly Right to your Home/Office. Net: That sounds good. One time we had to go down to the post office and there was some unpleasantness with a postal inspector. One of the largest pharmaceutical inventories on the web Men’s Health – Women’s Health – Sleeping Aids – and Many MORE Net: Many more what? Don’t leave us hanging here! We need meds! Chemicals! Pills! Gotta have ’em! Especially some of that good old Via-gra! Yes We Have Via-gra Net: Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

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