NOTE TO READERSNet…

NOTE TO READERS
Net: Hey kids! Don’t forget to write for our first-ever
FRATERNITY/SORORITY
STEREOTYPE CONTEST
Net: This is your chance to write THE definitive letter attacking or defending sororities and fraternities. Here’s how you play: Just send us a letter packing in as many stereotypes about fraternities and sororities as possible. Write the letter in the form of a flame or a defense, and send it to us by noon on Sunday. NITWIT will judge winning entries, which will be printed in Monday’s Network. Style definitely counts. We look forward to hearing from you.
Now, onto today’s business.

JESSE’S WORLD, PART II

Net: Our letters this week overwhelmingly dealt with the election of Jesse “The Mind” Ventura as this state’s newest political leader. Due to this volume, we decided a reprise of the topic was necessary. Here’s your heads up:

From Bones: This goes out to all those Ventura-bashers out there. You all must realize that the position of governor of Minnesota is simply a face and a signature. Net: And what a face we have! None of you need to worry about losing any of your oh-so-precious financial aid, nor should anyone rejoice just yet about “lower taxes and less government.” I’m sure many of you realize this because: 1) Ventura has no real plan to deal with the issues he talked about, and 2) The governor really has very little say about what the Legislature develops. Net: True. But he still must make proposals. He is, after all, the “head of state.” Besides, if Ventura did pick up a dictionary and write a bill in his crude English Net: As if any governor writes his or her bills. CHEAP SHOT!, the state Legislature would instantly shoot it down if it was a bad idea. Net: This assumes the Legislature doesn’t have bad ideas of its own. So let’s face it, any advanced primate can sign a name on the dotted line, but who better for Minnesota than one with the reputation and name of Jesse “The Body” Ventura? And I’m not being sarcastic.

From Algernon: Great Network, I come to represent the other half (give or take a bit).
It appears we have quite a number of people who judge a person by a small sample of his past. Yes, indeed, Jesse Ventura was a pro wrestler. And yes, he was a Navy SEAL. And he was an actor. However, he was also a mayor and he is, in fact, a human being. Net: STOP THE PRESS! There seems to be a great cry about how he did not graduate from college, and that this alone makes him incapable of governing the state. May I remind the good ignorami who have written in that graduating from college does not grant intelligence Net: If we have learned anything from our readers, it is this., just as the opposite does not automatically imply stupidity.
For reference: Abraham Lincoln, whom I hope we all learned about in grade school Net: Depends — did you have a multicultural curriculum?, was not only a third-party candidate, he was (if my memory is correct) entirely self-educated. Net: Actually, he did have about one year of formal schooling. But who’s counting? I am not, of course, saying Jesse Ventura is the next Abe Lincoln Net: But they do both have facial hair …, but it is noteworthy that this country is in one piece because of someone we hail as a great leader — a leader who had no formal schooling.
So, if not graduating from college implies stupidity, then apparently we’ve been hailing an idiot. Let it be known, then, that although Ventura does not have several decades of politics under his belt (which have kept him human, at the very least), he has a firm stand on his issues. And while not programmed to follow the restrictions of his party, he is determined to serve Minnesota and teach its constituents to do the same. He can admit that there are things on which he is not an expert, and for such things he will turn to those around him who are experts.
He was not afraid, throughout his entire campaign, to say loud and clear what his beliefs were. He encouraged votes, even the votes that were not for him. And, amazingly enough, he did increase the total vote count.
So, do you regret letting an honest person into office? Or is Ventura’s crusade to hold Minnesota up to the sky good enough for you?

From Lunar Goddess: I think there are quite a few people who would take great offense at your assumption that those who voted for Jesse only did so because of his wrestling career. If you take a look at the stats, the support for Jesse Ventura was consistently strong through every demographic but the very highest.

From Rounen: Howdy, Net! Remember back in ’88 when we had to choose between wimp and shrimp (Bush and Dukakis)? Well, this time we had a choice between slimy, fogey and Jesse. Did you sell your soul to the Democrats and vote fogey, or to the Republicans and vote slimy? Are you caught up in your party’s propaganda to the point of blind faith?
Perhaps all you know about Jesse Ventura is the stuff they told you on TV. Maybe the media forgot to tell you that Jesse “The Guv’nor” Ventura was Jesse “The MAYOR” Ventura for four years. (The Pioneer Press labeled this as a “stint.” In comparison, Slimy has been mayor of St. Paul for just as many years.)
OK, maybe I’m just annoyed for having chosen carefully in this election, only to have others consider my choice as being superficial (that means “wasted vote” for you poli sci majors). I admire honesty and unamended truth, often absent in many politicians. I admire the representation of my values, not the set of values in this or that party.
All right, I did vote for a pro wrestler. I also voted for an adulterer in ’96. Who did you vote for?