Dear Dr. Date,
How do you handle being a flirty drunk? I don’t go to parties often, but every time I do, I end up flirting with someone way too much. It’s not a looking-for-a-hookup thing, it’s a genuine “let’s talk for a few hours and then set up a date for next week” thing. I’m normally a little too intimidated to hit on anyone, so I only get it out of my system with a shot of liquid courage. This is slowly becoming a major problem — there’s been two or three times where I’ve been hanging out with someone at a party, we exchange numbers, then I wake up and realize that drunk me is super dumb and sober me isn’t ready to date. I feel like I’m leading people on and I feel bad, so I normally just ghost them. Do I just have to stop getting drunk, or is there something I can do? Help!
Dear Too Flirty,
Hey, flirting with people at parties isn’t the worst thing you could do drunk. At least you don’t smash exit signs! (Right?)
I know it’s hard for drunk you to listen to sober you, but next time you drink, try and remember that you’ve done this before and it hasn’t worked out. Flirting is fun and I’m not going to discourage you, but if you’re waking up with regrets, you’re on the wrong track. If you’re going out with friends, ask them to remind you subtly that you’re not trying to go out with someone, or have them step in when they see you handing out your number. And if you still end up planning a date, know that it’s okay to turn people down or change your mind — but tell them in the moment or the next morning, don’t just totally ghost.