Dr. Date: I can’t escape this life that I’m living; T-Halla Balla; The Eastside Girls; International man

>Dr. Date,

See I like this one girl Jenny. The thing is I don’t know what Jenny’s feelings are towards me. I’ve tried to hang out with her but something always comes up, i.e. I’m out of town, Intramural sports or homework. I don’t wanna call every time to ask her out ’cause it might seem like I’m obsessed and too clingy. How do I find out what her feelings for me are and if we can get something going?

Regards,

I can’t escape this life that I’m living

Dear I can’t escape this life that I’m living,

When you say “something always comes up,” you should evaluate all the reasons she has not been able to hang out with you.

I know girls get frustrated when guys don’t get the hint. If you’ve tried to ask her out several times and she always has something else going on, chances are she is not into you.

If she seems genuinely upset that you two haven’t been able to schedule something yet, I’d ask her what’s up. Nothing is wrong with asking, and she’ll probably give you a straightforward answer that she is not interested, or she is interested but has a hectic schedule.

Either way, continuing to ask her out on dates and getting turned down is not the way to go. I think she’s trying to send you a message.

Dr. Date

Editor’s note:

This next letter was submitted by a guy who has written to Dr. Date several times. In each letter, he has expressed his concern that Dr. Date “bashes” the fraternities on campus.

In an Oct. 27 letter, he wrote:

1. You’re a woman who is not a real doctor.

2. Your top 10 lists are neither humorous nor helpful.

3. You’re grossly misinformed about Frat guys.

Yet, he still seeks Dr. Date’s advice.

What’s shaking Dr. Date

So obviously I’m a freshman, and I guess I haven’t learned a few of the campus rules. What are your thoughts on “dormcest”?

I am currently interested in several girls from my dorm, but my hall mates seem to think that pursuing any of them would be ill advised due to the fact that we share the dorm and it could lead to awkward moments whilst walking down the hall.

Please hurry, I need a girlfriend for the holidays!

T-Halla Balla

Dear T-Halla Balla,

I don’t know who invented the phrase “dormcest,” but I think it’s 100 percent acceptable, and I even encourage it.

The dorm is where you are supposed to meet people to go out with, where you’re supposed to get to know everybody on your floor and where awkward encounters with people you used to date are expected.

So go for the girls in the dorms. A few weeks of happiness from any first-year relationship is worth the few awkward moments when you walk past her in the hall. Just learn to smile and walk by.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

My roommates and I live in University housing that is heavily populated with athletes. After living here for nearly three and a half months we’ve come to “know” a lot of the guys “very well.”

We were wondering if you had any suggestions on how to convert these players (pun intended) into boyfriend material.

The Eastside Girls

Dear The Eastside Girls,

It has been my experience that the University athletes are not generally known for their tendency to hunker down in long-term relationships. I know this does not apply to everybody, but I see where your question comes from.

My advice? Don’t chase them. Hang out with them and let them get to know you. If you make out with them all the time, they’re not going to want to be your boyfriend, because they can get what they want without any commitment.

So put the “easy-girl” act to the side and really get to know them. If they like you, they will want to go out with you. But don’t throw yourself at them like a lot of girls do. They’re used to that.

They are not, however, used to intelligent, witty women who don’t allow athletes to walk all over them. They’ll think you’re enigmatic.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

About a year and a half ago I broke up with an international girl “angel” which I was going out with for three months. She was everything I wanted for relationship and she was the smartest, sweetest and honest and beautifully sexy girl I ever met here on campus.

I was falling in love with her at the time (it was mutual) but sadly we broke up because of her parents. Her parents happened to restrict who she can see or what not let alone their being a devout Christian. She told me she loved me but because of her situation we had to stop seeing each other.

Although we wanted an intimate relationship we could not have it because of her parents and the religion.

It was so hard not having sex because I wanted her so bad. Her parents controlled her love affair. I used to get mad that she couldn’t stand up to them for me and our relationship.

Our relationship ended and we never talked/seen one another ever since because of the situation. But just the other day, after two and half years while I was rushing to get to class, I saw her at a coffee shop with some friends and ever since then I can’t stop thinking about her.

It was so hard breaking up with her in the first place and it took me a while to get over her. Seeing her brought so many memories that I can’t stop thinking about her.

I don’t know what to do because I know I still want her. Even though, I tell myself it was a mutual break-up I know I’m heartbroken and miss her so much.

Would it be so wrong just to tell her how much I still feel for her and miss her so bad? Can you be friends with some one that you cared so much? How do you deal with foreign lovers? What’s the rule for an international luv affair?

International man

Dear International man,

I think your problem has little to do with her being an “international angel” and a lot to do with her inability to stand up to her parents.

As much as I’d love to be optimistic about your ability to be friends, it sounds as if there is still a little underlying bitterness that she couldn’t tell her parents to take a hike and be with you. Was it really her parents or do you feel she didn’t love you as much as you loved her?

I’m sorry I’m not more optimistic, but I think I have to say there is not much of a chance for the two of you to get back together. Religion and controlling parents do not disappear in 2 1/2 years.

Dr. Date