Eating your way out

Hearing a chorus of yodelers, you run backwards over the pedestrian bridge toward Northrop Mall. You trip over a frozen squirrel, somersaulting into another dimension.
You land on a pinhead, suspended in air over a bowl of green jello. You dive into the jello, inserting yourself deep into the shaking emulsion. You eat your way out and crawl across a snakeskin counter and down a stairway of toothpicks. You catch a ride on a bald eagle, buckling yourself onto its back with a leather strap. The eagle rises and flies in concentric circles towards a frozen sun.
You pull back on the reins and direct the bird toward the ocean of Gatorade in the east. Lost, you land on a plateau overlooking a valley of cheese. Hungry, you descend down the hill, looking for cheddar but find only Swiss. You eat and fall asleep, awakening in the dark to the sound of thunder. It begins to rain fire and the valley of cheese melts, trapping you in its goo.
At dawn, the cheese disappears and you find yourself sitting in a chair of an attic filled with stuffed monkeys and bags of McDonald’s french fries. You eat the fries and the monkeys come alive. They thank you for freeing them from a thousand-year sleep and give you the power to travel through time.
Suddenly the acid wears off and you find yourself sitting in a car in the Church Street parking ramp. Your clothes are on inside out and the smell of orange blossoms fill the air. Perplexed, you exit the car and walk towards Dinkytown, expecting to find a frat party to drown your sorrows.
Finding none you climb a tree to see if you can spot the heathen who stole your tickets. You see a shadowy figure walk towards the Dinkydome and follow.

If you choose to enter the Dinkydome … See LOOKOUTFORGREASEDLIGHTNING page 20

If you want to ignore the shadowy figure and follow your instincts … See LIQUIDDARKNESS page 18