Dr. Date: Dillardsboysux; Agnes

EDear Dr. Date,

I have a problem, and it deals with my man-whore roommate and a girl that I had taken out 3 times (I call him a man-whore because he has had sex with three different girls in the last two weeks, and they are all friends with each other).

Anywho, this past weekend he decided to sleep with her twice and lie to me about it, knowing that I would find out later on. And today I just found out that he and she have arranged weekly booty calls on Thursday’s because her apartment is free.

Doesn’t this typically violate guy/friends since elementary school/roommate code? What do I do?

-Dillardsboysux

Dear Dilllardsboysux,

One thing you have to remember in most of your relationships is that people usually do not do things with the intent of harm. People might be careless, might be dumb, but they rarely act with the intention of harming anybody.

Your roommate never should have broken the roommate code. You probably know that. But before you go on a rampage and chastise him for being insensitive and a “man-whore,” make sure you evaluate his motivations.

How long did you date this girl for? Was this recently? How well do you know her? Did he know about it? What reason would he have to intentionally hurt you? How would he have known that you would find out about it?

I realize I’m asking more questions than I’m answering. Your roommate probably acted a little insensitively when sleeping with this girl. Make sure he knows how you feel though. Ask him what really happened; make sure you get his perspective.

Tell him how hurt you are. There’s always a huge sense of betrayal when a girlfriend chooses a friend of yours over you, or when a friend goes after somebody you’re interested in. If he understands, he’ll cancel the weekly booty calls and your friendship will continue. If he refuses to admit that he’s in the wrong, think about how important this girl is to you. Is she worth fighting about?

But if she is worth it to you, and he refuses to fess up to his mistakes, he doesn’t value your friendship as much as he values his booty call. How much do you value a friend like that?

Before you do anything rash, make sure you know every angle of the story and have told him he hurt you. But friends who betray you are not very good friends.

-Dr. Date

What’s poppin’ Dr. Date?

I’ve got this problem with my boyfriend, who has somewhat of a wild side.

I’m trying to get him to settle down with me and become committed (I think if he did, he might pop the question soon), but he’s resisting it. I’m scared of losing him if I say that he needs to settle down. I’m not trying to make him my slave (all the time), but I just want to know how to keep a guy on a leash. Not one of those six-foot leashes, but one of the ones that lengthens until you press the button and then it chokes the dog. And by dog, I mean boyfriend.

Thanks,

Agnes

Dear Agnes,

I think you have some issues to discuss with your boyfriend. How long have the two of you been dating? I’m concerned when you say, “I think if (he committed), he might pop the question soon.”

What part of your boyfriend’s behavior makes you describe him as a “wild child”? Is he being unfaithful? Or does he just like to spend time with the guys?

Now, I’ll give you a few ways to keep your boyfriend “on a leash,” so to speak, but there are obviously some underlying issues here that need to be resolved. You and your boyfriend need to talk about “control” and “power” in your relationship.

Rather than threaten your boy toy with things you’ll do if he doesn’t behave, you should give him an incentive to stay.

So, Dateworkia, here’s what to do if your boy just isn’t behaving like he should.

Top 10 ways to keep your boyfriend on a leash:

10) Get a leash.

9) Tell him you’ll get a bikini wax if he’s nice.

8) Hide his car keys and bike lock so he can’t escape.

7) Have him keep Chapstick, your wallet, your cell phone, etc., in his pockets when you’re with him so he won’t run away.

6) Put weights around his ankles (or an actual ball and chain) so that if he tries to flee like the criminal he is, you’ll be able to keep up.

5) Tell him that if he breaks up with you, you’ll tell his mom he smokes weed.

4) Tell him if he acts good, you’ll punish him anyway. Put a chair in the corner, blindfold him and give him a lap dance. He’ll never misbehave again.

3) Next time you fool around, pull out the handcuffs. He won’t move for weeks.

2) If he’s straying too far, tell all his frat brothers he’s bad in the sack. The rumors will spread like you’re in middle school.

1) Cry. It works every time.

Good luck, Agnes.

-Dr. Date