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Editorial Cartoon: Peace in Gaza
Editorial Cartoon: Peace in Gaza
Published April 19, 2024

Dear Dr. Date,Once…

Dear Dr. Date,
Once upon a time, I used to pick up guys for one-night stands. I wasn’t interested in getting to know anyone, so, even though I have dated in the past, it was usually just the result of a one-nighter that we both wanted to continue. A few years ago, I decided to not do that anymore and instead was quite happy and content being single and nonsexual. The point of this story is that now I am interested in dating — actual respectful dating, without sex. I am having no problem meeting interesting, good looking guys, but then I don’t know what to do.
What usually happens is that I meet a guy at a social gathering and end up spending the entire evening just talking with him. Toward the morning, he will give me his phone number and ask that I call him. So this is where I’m having problems — I don’t know what to do. Usually, about a week later I will call and ask if he would like to get together again, but, you see, I don’t actually ask them, I ask their machines. So, I guess the crux of my problem is that I have no difficulty picking them up, I just have no clue what to do with them after that.
— Clueless

Be more blunt. Don’t wait an entire week to call him. When you do call him, do it at a time when you think he might actually be there instead of subconsciously (or is it consciously?) calling when he probably isn’t there to avoid the pain of actual live talking. Don’t waste your time leaving long, dopey messages on his answering machine. Also, have a plan ready when you call and don’t rely on either of you to come up with a brilliant idea on the spot while in the middle of nervousness.
To help avoid rough calls, use your initial conversation time to your dating benefit. Talk about activities you like to do and find one you are both interested in. You are just talking about things you like to do, you aren’t asking him out. Don’t gush dishonestly, but be sure to let your passion show. At the end of the night, come back around to your shared interest and say, “I think it’d be a smash if we went on a date to The Midwest Center for Speed, the Elko Speedway, this weekend.” If he hesitates, he’s a dork, and you can just move on to the next guy. If he’s really interested, he’ll be excited or at least nonchalantly cool with that scene, man. Even if he already has plans, he’ll suggest another date time. All that’s left to do on the phone is work out the details.

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