Dear Dr. Date,
Look, I’ll be real with you — I don’t really vote. I voted for the first time in the 2016 presidential race and have ignored every campaign sign since. It’s not that I don’t care, I just don’t see the point sometimes. So when I got a reminder for this year’s local election, I threw it in the trash and forgot all about it.
However, my boyfriend does not feel the same. He’s super involved in local politics and campaigns for various candidates every year. Our political styles haven’t come up until this month when I told him I wasn’t going to bother with voting. He got SUPER pissed and told me that if I didn’t vote for his particular candidate, we were over! His ultimatum just made me not want to vote even more, so I didn’t.
Aaaaaaand, his candidate lost. I know I should feel sympathetic, but he’s blaming me for all of it, saying that if I had campaigned with him or voted they would have won! I think it’s ridiculous, but he’s seriously considering breaking up with me over this, and I’m not sure what to do. How can I convince him that I’m not the sole reason his political life is failing?
Leaning Toward No One
Dear Leaning Toward No One,
Okay, I won’t tell you that you HAVE to vote, but I do think it’s seriously important, local or national. However, I don’t think anyone is being a major asshole — it’s ok for you to be apathetic about politics, and it’s ok for your boyfriend to really care about local elections. If it’s a dealbreaker for him you’re probably not meant to be, but you should give it a few days before bringing it up again. He seems upset about the loss and may be taking it out on anyone involved, not just you. Regroup once it’s set in and talk about your priorities, voting or otherwise.