Net: Although we kn…

Net: Although we know it will be old news by the time we get to it, on Monday we’re printing selections from the Jesse Ventura letters we’ve received. We didn’t want all you letter-writers out there to think we were ignoring the voice of the people — who do you think we are, Skip or Norm?
So write in. We’re here for U — and we’re here for catharsis. We look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Now, on to our mail.


From Roadkill: (Please print this. We get extra points in are writing class Net: Good thing it’s not a grammar class if you print are article, and it won’t hurt you to put this on a page i’ll even say pretty please. after all you guys are students too so help another out.) Net: No problem. We won’t tell anyone you’re writing in only to get extra credit, and from here on out we’ll even edit you so you look good. Best wishes in your class.
The one dreaded disease at the University is spreading like wild!
They’re everywhere — there’s no escape. They come in pairs or all alone. They zoom by you in the blink of an eye. They are the dreaded bicyclists. I know people are into being more fit and healthy. I know that riding a bike to class cuts down on cars and traffic at the University.
It also creates an atmosphere of “watch out, or you’ll be run over.” If anything, you’re in more danger of being hit riding a bicycle. I personally get sick of bicyclists getting in my way, so if they care anything at all about their lives and want to still be healthy, they’re advised to watch out for a Honda Accord that has a lot of dents in the bumper from hitting bicyclists.
Why do they hog the road going five miles per hour knowing they can’t compete with a car? GET OUT OF THE WAY! Then you have the little guy who doesn’t care and runs over the people on the sidewalk. To let you know I’m a pedestrian too, so I will knock you out if I have to. Just beware. There have been more accidents at the University involving bicycles than cars. Half of those have been from people assaulting the bicyclist. So if you want to ride your bike, do it at home! Net: Got it. Hope you get an A. Don’t be a stranger. NEXT!!!!


Net: We decided to stop running responses to SWF‘s letter of a few days ago. Anytime we start running relationship letters we are overwhelmed.– hmmm … what does that say? But if we didn’t cut ’em off, pretty soon we’d be Dr. Date Part II, and Date does well enough on his own.
We’ll make an exception for this letter, however. It raises some interesting points, and they don’t all have to do with love. Read on …

From SBF: I have a question for your readers, and perhaps yourself. I am a black female here on campus, and I am single. My concern is that black women here may never find someone to be with. The reason I have concluded this is that black men here don’t date black women, white men don’t date black women, and so on. Net: And there you sit, holding your breath for a man and waiting to exhale. We hear ya.
I would ultimately like to ask your readers why they believe this is? Is there something about black women that men here don’t find appealing? I would love to find a good man here at the “U” just like SWF and SWM, but I feel I have so many strikes against me. What is the deal — can someone help me understand? Net: Anyone wanna try?

From Timeout: I wrote in several months ago in regard to our wonderful, state-of-the-art Carlson School of Management building. Net: And now the Mother Ship returns. The purpose was to subtly hint to the administration or the “circular time-telling machine (clock) engineers” they needed to update the clocks to the correct time after Daylight Savings Time.
Well, to put it bluntly, it worked about as well as a vote for Skip Humphrey. But I could deal with it for six months as the clocks should naturally become correct after the fall daylight savings maneuver. Wrong again!
The smart people in charge of the clocks at the CSOM building are obviously oblivious to the old “Fall back, Spring ahead” reminder. The clocks have magically moved another hour ahead. Net: Wow. That’s exasperating. You’d think the Carlson folks would realize that time is money. So now when I show up for my 10 a.m. class the clock reads noon, and I dream of what I could be doing at 12p.m. when I am out of that class. Net: Maybe you should bring a magazine to class with you. Perhaps this explains CSOM’s drop in national rankings.
Too many daydreamers due to inaccurate clocks. Please Network, in your many years here at the U Net: Don’t remind us, you must have some sort of clout with the right people that can set these clocks straight. Net: President Yudof? We know you’re reading … I am pleading with you to set my mind at ease. Thank you.

From The Open Mind: Good morning, Network. Net: Good morning. I’d like to draw out this idea of violence in the gay community for just one more day. Boris, can we really assume these threats are coming from the gay community? That there are no open-minded heterosexuals who might find this horrible act something to take action about? It’s possible the GLBT community has threatened those who killed Matthew Shepard and those who are in agreement with condemning homosexuals with violence, but it doesn’t stop with the gay community. Heterosexuals can be just as adamant about it.
And it’s beyond horrible that you stereotyped the whole gay community by providing us with an image of Truman Capote. There are violent homosexuals and violent heterosexuals. Sexual preference does not denote how militant you are. Net: And with that, have a good weekend. Party responsibly — and hasta …