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Editorial Cartoon: Peace in Gaza
Editorial Cartoon: Peace in Gaza
Published April 19, 2024

Dear Dr. Date,My s…

Dear Dr. Date,
My sister’s wedding is about a month away. Everyone is pretty excited about it. It will be nice to go home and see my family, something I rarely get to do because of my job. But two days ago I got the dreaded invitation in the mail and it read, “To Mr. —– —– and guest.” Talk about pressure. To top it off, it included a reply card asking me to commit to how many people would be in my party. I like to think I’m a pretty outgoing guy and have no trouble getting dates. But because it’s out-of-state, it will require a date-to-be to spend four days with me and members of my obstinate family. Everyone I talk to says bring a friend, but even then, four days is a long time.
— Brother of the Bride.

Wedding books say that today’s average wedding costs $16,000 to $20,000 from start to finish not including the honeymoon. Of course, this information comes from the wedding industry which has a vested interest in you spending oodles of cash on a four-hour stressfest. I’ve seen awesome weddings done for under $1000, but still they get to be quite spendy. Each person who attends can add $50 to $100 to the total. I tell you all this to encourage you not to bring a guest. Your sister is extending a gracious offer to you so you can bring someone special in your life, and if that person isn’t available, free up the space for someone else. Your sister probably had to make some tough decisions about who to invite, and I’m sure she’d be happy to include someone special to her.
Don’t worry, weddings are wonderful places to meet other singles. Generally, the ceremony and reception is a beautiful, heart-warming affair that causes people to reconsider their bitter attitude toward love. Of course, weddings can also be atrocious and boring, causing spectators to vow never to wed. Either way, you can usually find someone with whom you can bond or at least temporarily commiserate. I can hear the bridesmaids chatting now, “That’s her brother — and guess what! He’s single!” Plus you may get to re-meet distant cousins who’ve grown up nicely since you saw them as kids. Hey, it may be illegal to marry them, but no one says you can’t date them.
If family approval is important, you’ll probably ignore all my advice and just tell her you’re bringing your new sweetheart you’ve been meaning to introduce to everyone. For this delicate situation, you need to find someone in the next two weeks. Normally, it would be an exceedingly difficult task to find someone you hardly know to spend four days with you, your parents and your sexy third cousins. Luckily for you, little liar, I’m putting on a splendorous mixer this Friday night at Weisman just for such purposes. It’s free and it starts promptly at eight, so come early and maximize your mingling time.
I can’t guarantee anything, but in my opinion, it is your only hope, brother.

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