Dr. Date: My girlfriend keeps playing weird music during sex

Every time she gets up to turn on her speaker, I dread her getting undressed!


by Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

Look, I can appreciate the majority of music. Electronic is fun at parties, jazz is the perfect mood music at restaurants, and country is fun to drunkenly sing along to. Even if I don’t like the genre, I can stand just about anything as long as it’s not playing for more than an hour.

My girlfriend, however, is different. While she tolerates my Kendrick Lamar and Kanye West, I know she’s secretly judging me. She’s a fan of experimental music, also known as random sounds thrown together to make a mess of noise, in my opinion. Her favorite track is just a high pitched note with some bass under the sound of someone breathing and muttering phrases. I don’t get it, but I don’t have to listen to it, right?

Until now. We’re now at the point of our relationship where one of us sleeps over on a regular basis. When we try and get it on, though, she’s been insisting on playing music in the background to “set the mood” — the louder and weirder, the better. And for the songs that do have some semblance of a rhythm, she … tries to do it to the beat, if you know what I mean. 

Frankly, it’s killing our sex life. Every time she gets up to turn on her speaker, I dread her getting undressed! I can’t take it seriously anymore, and she’s just getting angrier. What do I do?


Just Play LoFi Beats

Dear Just Play LoFi Beats,

I didn’t really understand your situation until I searched Spotify for experimental artists. Yeah, both of you would have to be REALLY into this to make it arousing. You’re sure she’s not cheating on you with a guy who has ProTools?

While music can help set a mood, explain to her that in order for you both to enjoy it, you both have to be happy with the environment. I’m sure you both have a genre in common that you can test out in the bedroom, even if it’s more mellow than you would like. Find the common denominator between what she enjoys about the music and what you find acceptable and work from there. There’s so much out there you have to be able to find something normal, right?


Dr. Date