MINNEAPOLIS — Seventeen more people suspected of being “superhumans” were discovered in a Minneapolis-area Starbucks cafe Sunday by federal Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents involved in a two-week sting operation in the city’s downtown area.
The authorities hand-cuffed the suspects and placed bags on their heads before driving them away in two black vans.
“We really cannot answer any questions,” said Minneapolis Police Chief Robert Olson. “The ATF is handling this case.”
Sunday’s bust is the biggest so far. The arrests bring the total number of “superhumans” discovered near Starbuck’s coffeeshops nationwide to 54 in the past week.
The epidemic first surfaced last Sunday when several people in a Chicago area Starbuck’s began reading and moving about twice as fast the normal pace.
Another unaffected patron called the police, who quickly arrived, but not before the ATF Chicago Bureau had placed bags on the suspect’s heads and drove them away.
“It was like the (ATF) knew what was going to happen,” remarked Matt “Fatty” Arbuckle, a former pharmacy graduate student who called the police as soon as he noticed a store worker making a cappuccino “at the speed of light.”
Major American cities — including New York, Los Angeles and Milwaukee — have witnessed similar episodes.
Federal and local authorities across the U.S. have been monitoring Starbuck’s coffeeshops since the outbreak, and now believe many of these superhumans are hiding in or near the franchises.
ATF spokeswoman Carrie Gilford explained that the “superhuman” condition is brought on by fits of “ultra-hyperactivity,” forcing an affected individual’s brain and heart to operate at twice their normal rates. The individual can then complete physical and mental tasks in twice the time it would normally take.
The epidemic is believed to be linked to a new type of genetically engineered coffeebean sold exclusively to Starbucks by Monsanto, the St. Louis-based biotechnology arm of Pharmacia, Inc.
According to documents obtained by the Daily World News, the beans were created when Monsanto scientists injected the coffeebean cells with the DNA of hyperactive, insomniac mice.
Gilford explained that people with a certain gene experience a reaction and become “superhumans” after drinking or smelling coffee made from the bean. Affected persons also become totally dependant on the coffee and must continuously drink it to prevent seizures.
Monsanto and Starbuck’s officials would not comment, but Monsanto issued the following written statement: “At Monsanto, we are dedicated to creating a better coffeebean for the consumer. These new bean varieties have the potential to provide a better tasting coffee to all levels of society, increase the livelihood of farmers, end world debt, restore rural communities, save the environment and provide more affordable housing.”
Authorities estimate that anywhere from 2,000 to 5,000 superhumans are hiding out near or in Starbucks cafes in the U.S. and Canada, in fear of being captured by ATF agents.
Gilford declined to say where the superhumans were taken. However, in an interview with CIA agents speaking on conditions of anonymity, the Daily World New has learned that most of the superhumans are being taken to an air force base in Georgia.
There, the agent said, defense department officials are training the superhumans to “achieve the overthrowing of Latin American dictators.”
“The mentality is, if a superhuman can work twice as fast, it can also kill twice as fast,” the agent explained, detailing the connection between the defense department and Starbucks. He said the defense department has been subsidizing the coffee giant for the past seven years to finance the project.
Department officials could not be reached for comment.
Family members of the arrested have been demanding to know where the federal agents are taking their kin.
On Wednesday, Attorney General Janet Reno spoke via satellite to many of the family members: “We are handling the situation carefully,” she said. “There will be no force used unless provoked.”
A massive protest is set for next Wednesday in Seattle, where Starbucks is based.
Protest organizer Jameson Jones said he expects more than 100,000 people to show up.
“We need to send a message to these companies that we will not be subjected to drinking Frankenlattes,” he said.
Frank N. Joseph covers connections between the CIA, the Free Masons, and various other new world order powerhouses and welcomes comments at [email protected]