Mid-afternoon last Thursday, literally hundreds of students were horribly distracted by a woman’s late entry into an Institute of Technology lecture.
Allegedly dressed in black booty-pants tighter than DMX’s latest jam, the really hot woman strolled down the aisle of Mechanical Engineering 1301 approximately 23 minutes and four seconds late. The woman was described as about 5’6″, 115 pounds, long blonde hair and “having enough ass to feed the world’s needy.”
Deron Smith, who was attending the class, described the scene as follows, “Sh*t dog, you should’ve seen that chick, the body was banging. I didn’t see no panty line either, so you know that thong was in effect. I’d a hooked up the digits and straight tapped that ass, but I’m pretty sure it woulda only lasted ’bout 3 or 4 seconds.”
The class was efficiently learning theorems and equations before the interruption. The professor, too, was not immune to the golden-headed vixen. “I was trying to teach a class, but I found myself lecturing that the most important theorem in the universe is the breasts in row F. This is a University, not a forum for that sort of sexual lewdness.”
Many students were disturbed by the woman’s fashion runway-like entrance. Students murmured throughout the auditorium.
“I’m not sure what happened, but my normally level note-taking surface had taken on a more of a slanted appearance, making it very difficult to write,” said computer engineering major Harold Wilsmeyer.
The woman, whose name is being withheld for legal reasons, did not believe she was doing anything wrong. She instead insisted the IT students’ lack of the female experience was to blame for the incident.
“Whatever, I’m like the only girl in the class. I just got those pants from J. Crew, and they look soooo cute, oh my God! And I have to wear my thong from Victoria Secret, It’s so nice, it’s pink. Why can’t a woman be smart and sexy? What? What do you mean they can’t? Hey! Come back with that tape recorder, I have more to say! Don’t you want to see my new shirt from Abercrombie & Fitch?” she said.
The only injuries reported from the incident are six cases of dried out eyes from excessive staring. Police have not charged anyone.
D.J Suck Deeznuts is a pimp, your pimp, and can be reached [email protected]