Dear Dr. Date,
I got dumped. It wasn’t pretty, and it wasn’t nice. And right before Valentine’s Day of all times and days! I guess I knew it was coming. We’d been in a rocky relationship for a while (nearly two years), and the spark just was no longer there. I dreaded spending time with him. We had nothing in common. But I thought he’d wait until after Valentine’s Day! Now, I’m alone again and will have to undergo the most lovey-dovey time of the year without a love. How do I get myself out of this rut? How do I cope with being alone during a time when it’s so hard to do that?
Candy Heart (Broken)
Dear Candy Heart (Broken),
I’m sorry about the breakup. It’s never easy, no matter which holiday you’re approaching — Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Hanukkah, Honda Days. I’d argue that many people get into relationships just to avoid being alone during this time of the year. But no matter the time or the holiday, it’s never pleasant to be alone when the rest of the world appears as though they have somebody.
What you need to remind yourself is that you’d rather be happy and alone than bitter with someone you don’t love. If the spark between you two was waning, it’s for the best that you went your own way. Plus, now you don’t have to buy him a V-day gift, cook him a dinner he won’t enjoy and spend the day with someone you don’t truly love.
Here’s what you can do on Valentine’s Day instead: get bangs, dye your hair, have a few close single friends over for dinner and wine, lament, buy three boxes of chocolate for yourself and eat them while watching bad rom-coms. Or call your mom and tell her you love her. Call your dad, siblings, friends and grandma and do the same. Valentine’s Day is a day for love, and love extends beyond the notions of a romantic relationship.
Breakups suck, but you’ll get through. Take some time for yourself to heal that open wound. Treat yourself well this Valentine’s Day.
Are you romantically bewildered? Are you sexually consternated, and is your relationship status a little too complicated? Want advice from the Minnesota Daily’s in-house love doctor? Email Dr. Date at [email protected]