The common refrain when discussing dating in college is that college students prefer casual sex to exclusive romantic relationships, with more than 90% of college students claiming their campus has a strong hookup culture.

Before starting at the University of Minnesota, I heard about the terror of hookup culture from college students for years. I was expecting a wasteland of friends-with-benefits and guys with Hinge bios that say “Figuring out my dating goals.” Whatever that means.

However, I seldom heard gossip about people casually hooking up. It seemed like no one around me was getting laid at all. Instead, all anyone had to talk about was their new situationship.

The “situationship” is many things. It could mean you’re still in the talking stage on Bumble and wondering when you’ll take it in person. Perhaps you’ve already gone on four dates and are waiting to make it official. Or maybe you made out once at a party and are waiting for him to text you back.

What all of these dynamics have in common is an uncertainty of the exact nature of the relationship. The catch-all term is deliberately vague in order to encapsulate the in-between period of a relationship, when no other label seems quite right.

Francheska Racelis, a first-year student at the University, said the situationship stage is defined by a lack of clarity in the relationship.

“It’s basically the complicated stage,” Racelis. “It’s just not dating, but not friends, but you honestly don’t know what you guys are.”

Once you learn the term, you see the dynamic all over pop culture. From television couples like Carrie and Big from “Sex and the City,” to hit songs like “Casual” by Chappell Roan, the drama of these relationship dynamics provides the perfect basis for a tumultuous will-they-won’t-they narrative or ear-catching pop song.

But the reality of a situationship can be a lot less glamorous.

Racelis, who said she was involved in two different situationships this past year, said she felt very insecure while trying to figure out where the relationship was headed.

“It sucks,” Racelis said. “You think, maybe this could be a good person, but at the same time, why isn’t he making effort?”

The discrepancy between each party’s views on where the relationship is headed is a breeding ground for resentment.

However, for every person doing everything they can to get out of the grey area, there seems to be just as many people content on keeping the line between casual and committed blurred.

Michon Harju, a first-year student, said she thinks the term is overused, with individuals dramatizing casual relationships for the sake of it.

“Some people want to get stuck in one just for the sake of saying they’re in a situationship,” Harju said.

Situationship culture is not unique to the University. Sydney Stover, a third-year student at Iowa State University, said she finds the term situationship immature.

“I dislike the term situationship for myself,” Stover said. “It is an immature way of saying that someone is not going to commit in the end.”

Even my friends who insist they are miserable in their situationships find themselves going back for more, despite all of the signs the other person is not interested in a relationship, never daring to ask the glaring question, “What are we?”

Harju said the solution to the situationship is communicating your needs to the person you’re seeing.

“It’s a really easy thing to solve,” Harju said. “You can just talk about what you want and what the other person wants and figure out if you actually should be in a relationship.”

If resolving a situationship really is that simple, why do so many of us find ourselves caught in this relationship limbo for weeks or months on end?

Developing feelings for someone can be more exciting than actually being in a serious relationship. There is a rush that comes from not knowing exactly what your romantic interest is thinking, and that thrill can be exhilarating and painful in equal parts.

Communicating your needs to your situationship requires being vulnerable and admitting you are unhappy. This can mean facing the fact that you want more out of the relationship than they do.

Rejection is painful, so some may prefer to maintain the status quo, even if they know the dynamic is unsustainable, instead of leaving and finding happiness with someone who actually fulfills their needs.

However, avoiding the issue will not make it go away, and all miscommunication comes to a head eventually. In the time spent worrying over a relationship that is not right, both individuals could have found partners who are right for them.

Coming to terms with the fact that the guy you spend all this time obsessing over does not reciprocate your feelings is hard. But at the end of the day, you deserve someone who will match your needs to the fullest extent.

So, how do you survive a situationship? 

The answer is as simple as it is daunting. Have the hard conversations. Delete their number. Eat chocolate and cry to your roommate. Move on. Your future self will thank you for it. 

The love of your life is out there, and I promise it is not the guy you met at Sal’s on St. Patrick’s Day.

After all, can you imagine if Elle Woods had ended up with Warren instead of Emmett? Or if Taylor Swift had stuck with Matty Healy? I cannot think of anything worse than that.