Madonna and child

Elmo Ciccone Leon, pressed close to a studded black leather nursing bra, swayed to a lullaby of “Don’t cry for me, Argentina.” It wasn’t Julie Andrews, mind you, but what attitude! Outside, flashbulbs popped, satellite dishes spun and Leeza Gibbons shifted eagerly from foot to foot under gathering clouds. With highs only in the 50s and a chance of evening thunderstorms, the weather was, well, less than immaculate. But the day isn’t a total loss, thought the blessed child. After all, how many two-day-olds already have their first pair of bondage diapers? Safety pins, my ass.