Dear Dr. Date,
We have a problem. The two of us have a close mutual friend who lives in another city. Three months ago he got a new girlfriend. Since then, each of us have met her once on separate occasions. To make this easier to explain, we’ll refer to ourselves as Jack and Jill. Jack met this new girlfriend in a party situation that included alcohol. Both the girlfriend and Jack were intoxicated. The girlfriend kissed Jack several times. Our friend witnessed this situation. This was passed off as an isolated drunken incident. When Jill met the new girl, they got along well until the new girlfriend informed Jill that she was bisexual and asked Jill if she would ever consider “joining them.”
Again, alcohol was involved. Our friend does not know about this. Jack and Jill are now concerned that they might be uncomfortable around their friend after this and have no desire to run into his girlfriend again. How concerned should Jack and Jill be for their friend? Should they talk to him about it? If so, how should they approach him? He is very much into this girl and Jack and Jill are worried about what his reaction might be. We don’t want to lose our friend but we don’t want to see him hurt.
— Jack and Jill

Oh! I get it! When you say “We have a problem,” you don’t mean you and ME! For a second there I thought I was leading an even more exciting life than I realized.
Most of your problems seem to involve alcohol. It was about this point in my drinking career that I finally had to cut back because too many wild (and pathetic and wonderful and awful and illegal) things were happening to me. I don’t expect you to stop drinking; just ask yourself what impact it’s having on your relationships.
I’d go ahead and tell your friend your thoughts on his new girlfriend. I wouldn’t expect him to appreciate it and he’ll probably resent you for it later. Infatuation can cause blindness and such feelings. Before you do tell him though, try to determine who you are trying to help. If you just need to get stuff off your chest to make you feel better, think twice because you may not actually be helping anyone. No matter what happens, he’ll end up OK. It’s better to go through life and make some mistakes than to play it safe.
It’s possible that your friend knows all about his girlfriend’s behavior. If she is this outspoken, she has most likely told him she is bisexual and would like to sleep with Jill, or whoever. If he is a typical male, he probably digs this anyway.
So, Jack kisses this woman and she says she wants to sleep with Jill, and Jack and Jill want nothing to do with her? Perhaps, Jack and Jill, you could learn a thing our two about life (and the ability to let others live theirs) from your friend and his girlfriend.