Overheard on campus

âÄúYou donâÄôt want them focused … thatâÄôs why you buy them alcohol!âÄù âÄîPsychology research methods professor talking about speed dating Girl 1: âÄúI canâÄôt skip class, I always sit in front.âÄù Girl 2: âÄúWhy would you sit in front?âÄù Girl 1: âÄúWell I canâÄôt see or hear well, so …âÄù Girl 2: âÄúHelen Keller couldnâÄôt and IâÄôm sure she sat in front all the time!âÄù âÄîNicholson Hall Girl 1: âÄúHow was your Easter?âÄù Girl 2: (Silence) Girl 1: (louder, as if she wasnâÄôt heard) âÄúHow was your Easter?âÄù Girl 2: âÄúIâÄôm Jewish … I donâÄôt celebrate Easter.âÄù Girl 1: âÄúOh.âÄù (awkward laugh) Girl 2: âÄúHow was your Easter?âÄù Girl 1: âÄúIâÄôm Buddhist, I donâÄôt celebrate Easter.âÄù Girl 2: (Silence) âÄîAbnormal psychology class
Guy (hitting on girl who was sitting cross-legged): âÄúWell, you look like Gandhi!âÄù Girl: âÄúWhoâÄôs Gandhi? Does she go here?âÄù Guy: âÄúUh no. HeâÄôs kind of like the Indian Martin Luther King or something.âÄù âÄîCoffman Union Guy: âÄúI ran into this girl today that looked so familiar. I couldnâÄôt figure out how I knew her until she said hi, and I realized we went to high school together, but she had gained like 30 pounds. Such a waste âÄî she used to be wicked hot!âÄù âÄîGuy at the Recreation Center âÄúI couldnâÄôt concentrate on calculus with a soggy butt.âÄù âÄîThe Mall Guy: âÄúSo in Ukraine there were these Ukrainian farmers, and they would like, farm.âÄù âÄîFrontier Hall Guy 1: âÄúIâÄôm going to limit myself to three shots.âÄù Guy 2: âÄúDude, three shots is what eastern Europeans have for breakfast!âÄù âÄîFrontier Hall âÄúWe should have a baseball team called Ninjas and have them play against the Pirates for some epic-ness.âÄù âÄîStub and HerbâÄôs âÄúWell, itâÄôs 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.âÄù âÄîMiddle-aged man at Blarney