Love and friendship advice from the Sex Kitten

Mall Madness
Q: OK, so oh my God, you are so not even going to believe this, but I was like, hanging out at the mall like, last weekend and stuff, and I saw this totally hot guy, I mean he was like, way hotter than like, Justin Timberlake from ‘N Sync, or something. I swear! I told that to my BFF and she was all, “No way, you’re so lying, he so couldn’t have been.” And I was all, “He so was,” and she was all like “whatever.” Anyway … So I was like, totally jonesing for this guy, right? So, I walked up to him and I was all, “Hey,” and he was all, “Hey,” and I swear he was like totally into me. But then he like, just left without even asking me out! I’m so sure! Like, he totally dissed me! So like, what do you think that means? Does he like, like me? Or like, was I just like sooo wrong? Pleez heelllllpp!!!! P.S. I still totally love Justin, I mean, I just like, thought he was like, really cute.

A: First of all, congrats on having the guts to go talk to that totally hot guy! I so know how hard it can be to let that super-fly hottie know how much he totally turns you on. A lot of girls wouldn’t even go say, “Hey.” But you’ve got to learn to take it a step further. Remember, the most important thing in life is finding a boyfriend, and then doing whatever it takes to keep him NO MATTER WHAT. I mean, just think how so totally uncool you’d be otherwise. The next time you see this guy (or ANY guy) you have to like, totally flirt with him. Let him know you want him to be yours by gently touching his wrist, or dropping something in front of him and then bending over to pick it up. You could also try running past him in slow motion. If all else fails, just chuck that last ounce of self-esteem out the window and beg him to go out with you. I mean, seriously, this is your future we’re talking about! If you really want hints on how to keep a man in your life, check out our November cover story, “How To Snag That Guy At All Costs!” Or, flip to that issue’s feature story, “I Sacrificed Everything For My Guy And Now My life Is Perfect.” Also, check out the quiz “Are You A Good Flirt?” Anyway, happy hunting and good luck! Sounds like you need it.

B or C?
Q: Some of my friends and I were discussing Britney and Christina and I said I thought Christina was way cooler. Now all my friends think I’m stupid and they hate me. What should I do to make them like me again?

A: Wow. This is a tough one. I mean, I hate to take sides and all, but isn’t it like totally obvious? Britney is definitely cooler. If I were you I’d change schools. Next time (if there is a next time) agree with your friends. It’s just so much better to conform.
Copycat fight
Q: What up? My like, best friend and I are like, fighting because we went shopping last weekend and she like, bought the same lipstick I did. She said she saw it first, but I know she didn’t; she only bought it because like, I did and she knows I’m totally glam. I was like, wondering what you would like, do, if like, this like, ever like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,

A: Woah, calm down, girlfriend, you’re like, totally going postal. You really need to take a good look at your friendship. This girl sounds like she’s probably a back-stabbing brat. But before you go excluding her from your Clinique clique 4-ever, look at the rest of her; are there other signs she’s a total poser? Like, does she sport the same too-cute baby tee, like the day after you did? Does she claim to like, like boy bands but then listen to alternative tunes when she thinks she’s alone? If you think she’s just trying to snag some of your popularity by wearing the same duds or makeup, ditch her. She’s obviously not worth your could-have-been-spent-with-that-cutie-next-door time.

Hey all you chicas, if any of you want some fab advice on your probs, just send an e-mail to [email protected].