Dear Dr. Date,
I have been recovering from a severe eating disorder from high school. While I have never had professional help, I have slowly been dealing with my issues. My problem concerns my boyfriend. He believes that a couple should always look their best for each other, which I agree with. I look the same as I did a year ago when I first started dating him. He always would tell me how beautiful I was. He still says this to me, but recently he has been making comments about my weight. Most guys I meet think I am very attractive, but I know it would not hurt to lose 10 pounds. These comments destroy me. Every time he says something, I stop eating or get really depressed. He is the most wonderful guy, and I love him very much, but his apology afterward does not really help. “What is done is done.” I have thoroughly explained my disorder to him, but this still continues. I do not want to break up over something like this, but it is so painful. What can I do to make him understand, and what should I do?
— Hurt

Your boyfriend is a cad. He could be legitimately concerned for your general health, because, after all, we could all be in better shape, but I doubt it. Something tells me he is more interested in your appearance to his friends than he is concerned for your health. Honestly, I know you can find a more wonderful guy than this dud.
What I find particularly disturbing about your situation is how you are reacting to his comments. You can’t be healthy if you don’t eat, and if you don’t eat, your body and mind will have a harder time fighting off depression. Next time he asks you why you don’t look like Xena, ask him why he doesn’t look like Hercules.
If you’re in good shape and feel good about yourself without his comments and feel awful with his comments, perhaps instead of losing weight, you should lose him. His comments are a form of mental abuse that you don’t need in your life. I think the best way to make him understand this is to dump him. If tolerated, abuse of this sort won’t go away and will likely become more common.
Weight gain is natural as people get older. A person can gain weight and still be in perfect health. I don’t think it’s OK to be overweight if you are living a life that is unhealthy. A person that spends most of their time on the couch watching TV and eating fatty snacks is not attractive — the resultant weight gain being only one of my numerous concerns.