Dear Dr. Date,
My boyfriend and I recently got into an argument about what is and what isn’t acceptable or taboo to talk about. At the beginning of our relationship, he said a few things that were incredibly disturbing. On his younger sister’s 21st birthday, his friends were joking around about how hot she was, and he responded with, “Yeah, I’d screw her.” Then on another occasion, when the two of us were alone, we were talking about his older sister who was single, and he mentioned that he had offered to sleep with her since she wasn’t getting any. He seemed to me to be dead serious. I can’t remember the words I used, but I said something along the lines of, “Are you serious?” He responded, “Yeah, why? What’s the big deal, as long as we are both consenting, there is nothing wrong with it.”
He is a very sexual guy, who talks about sex and sex-related issues a lot. By his tone and the context of both conversations, I took him to be serious. Why wouldn’t I? How many guys say such things about their sisters?
I brought this up the other day, and he went off. He can’t believe “what a strange bird” I am to have taken him seriously. He said he was joking.
Still, there is no reason to say that to me. We weren’t in a silly or sick or disgusting mood. He claims that he said and says those things for shock value. In addition, he says his friends constantly give him a bad time about screwing his sisters or his dogs.
First of all, I can’t imagine a guy thinking it’s OK to joke about his sisters like that. My brother would never say such a thing about my sisters or me. On the contrary, he is more defensive about men respecting us. It’s one thing for guys to say those things to their friends about the friend and another partner, but to say those things about screwing a sibling just doesn’t seem acceptable to me. He strongly disagrees with me, asking me what makes me “holier than thou” or what makes me “so astute on what is and isn’t taboo and acceptable to say.” I just can’t imagine anyone in their right mind saying they would screw their sister, or their dog, for that matter. What do you think?
— Offended!

What do I think? I think that the question of the week didn’t get enough valid responses, so I had to print your interesting letter instead.
Here’s the problem: Your boyfriend was kidding AND your boyfriend is weird. Generally, when you get to know weird people, you’ll find they have weird sibling-screwing humor. The weirder the person, the weirder the person/animal/object getting screwed. The one silver lining to this cloudy situation is this: At least he’s not talking about screwing your siblings.