Dear Dr. Date,
A few weeks ago I noticed a dashing young woman in my dance class. She is an amazing dancer who has a special talent for teaching ethnic dances. I had talked to her a few times after class, but I always became very nervous and I would jumble my words. Last week I was performing for the class; I was doing fine until she walked into the room. At that point, I instantaneously lost my place and fell to the floor. Then after class she came up and asked if she could go through the dance with me. She wants to be a dance teacher so she has been helping me every day after class. Last night when she was showing me how to improve my pirouette, I fell backwards until she threw her body under me to soften the fall. So, we are all alone in the dance studio. “My Endless Love” was playing on the stereo. And we were lying on top of each other. I didn’t get up right away because of her soft fingers caressing my ear lobes. I didn’t know what to do at first because I hadn’t realized she was a lesbian. Yes, I am a woman (Hear me roar.), and I would like to get to know this woman more intimately. Since this is my first lesbian experience, I was wondering if you could give me some advice.
— Ethnic Dancer

What kind of ethnic dance do you do to the song “Endless Love?” I don’t have any special advice to give you because, for the most part, a lesbian relationship is no different than a heterosexual relationship. The same guidelines apply. Pick a place where both of you will be comfortable, do something you both like to do and get to know each other. You may be nervous, but it won’t be any different than the nervous feelings you have felt on any other first date.
There is no special dress code or secret language you’ll need to speak. You don’t need to recite Sappho poems or get your hair cut short. Obviously, you and this woman already have an interest in each other the way you are right now. The challenge you face is the same challenge anyone faces on a first date — you must only be yourself.
Nothing is drastically different with sex either. Not all lesbian women like the same type of sex, so, just as you would with a guy, you’ll need to take things slowly and communicate. Because lesbian sex is not centered around the ejaculation of a penis, it tends to be longer, more sensuous and more affectionate. I could say more, but really it would be nothing more than a generalization.
I’m excited for you and this opportunity to grow and follow a desire. Relax, be yourself and savor the experience.