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Performer Mayyadda singing at the University of Minnesota Juneteenth Celebration “We Are The Noise: The Echoes of Our Ancestors” captured on Saturday, June 15.
Best photos of June '24
Published June 23, 2024

Dear Dr. Date,I ne…

Dear Dr. Date,
I need your help! I broke up with my boyfriend of a year and a half in January. At the time we broke up, I was already dating someone else, so I moved on very quickly, but my ex still desperately wanted to get back together with me. However, about three months after the break-up, he started dating someone else and I broke up with the guy I was seeing at the time. Since that time, I finally realized what I did when I ended our relationship. Now, whenever I see my ex with his new girlfriend, I am insanely jealous and I really want to get back together with him, even though he seems to be really happy with his new girl. He and I had a good relationship before I cheated on him, and now I feel like I ruined the best relationship I will ever have for a meaningless fling that didn’t last more than a month. I am practically obsessed with my ex-boyfriend now, and I think about stupid things like who his mom liked better, the new girl or me, or whether she is a better kisser than I am. What can I do to get over this, so I can stop driving myself crazy by dwelling on it?
— Insane

It is possible that a more ironic (and therefore, funny) situation than yours could exist, but that possibility is slim. Honestly, from the outside, your predicament is endearingly humorous. I understand, however, (oh! how I understand) that from the inside this is not in the least bit amusing.
Life will improve, sweet. But for now, you can start the recovery by remembering why you broke up with him in the first place. Possibly, you were bored with the pedestrian mechanics of the relationship, tempted by unfulfilled desires not satiated by your ex or at a point in your life in which a person tends to make rash, fickle decisions. It is all too easy to only remember the golden times that you yearn for now. Think back on the time you spent together. Weren’t there times when you were dissatisfied, bored and even angry?
Resist the temptation to get back with your ex. You only want him back to reassert your position as his true love at which point you will once again clearly remember why you left him in the first place. Sure, it’s a boot to the ego to see some other trollop in your baby’s arms, but life is filled with unsettling ego adjustments like these. It’s a perfect opportunity to show how you can rise above jealousy and all the other less appealing human emotions. Smile and hold your head up high, life only gets funnier by and by.

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