Net: First it was K…

Net: First it was Khaki Girl‘s turn to speak, then we turned to Lucas Nighthawk. (Great name, Lucas. We can’t wait to see the action figure.) Now, others speak on the value of business education and education in general. Hmmm … what a novel discussion to have at a university!
THERE’S NO BUSINESS LIKE SHOW BUSINESS

From Thespian in an MBA World to Lucas Nighthawk: I wanted to set you straight on one of your comments to Khaki Girl in a Suited World regarding CSOM. You stated you were required to take classes like theater and sociology as a test of your perseverance. These liberal education requirements are in place, at this and every other university, to broaden your mind. Net: When did THAT become part of the curriculum! Dammit, we were hoping to figure out how to get that Rolex-landin’ job.
Here’s a question for you — once you graduate with your CSOM degree and are making your millions, how do you plan on spending that money? Net: Sega! If you were not exposed to these “little hoops” of instruction, you could not socialize with the elite at dinner parties, theatrical premiers and so forth, because you wouldn’t be able to discuss anything but business. Net: Then again, with all the folks in the stock market nowadays, dinner parties, etc., may be the only places where business ISN’T discussed. Today’s businessperson has to be just that — a person. Well-rounded, articulate, and above all, open and accepting of new ideas and experiences. Gone are the days of businessmen lunches at strip clubs. Net: Well, depends on the business … (Sorry to disappoint you.)
I have a B.S.B. and a B.F.A. degree. I have been in the real world and climbed that corporate ladder, and I attribute my three promotions in two years more to my degree in theater than to my studies of business, because in the theater I learned to be versatile and to adapt well to change. Net: And we always planned on SLEEPING our way to the top. Thanks for the tips, Thespian. If you can fly by the seat of your pants and produce quality work, you are definitely a commodity any corporation is looking for.
I am happy to be continuing my education now, but I am sorry my master’s program doesn’t include any of the enlightening and diverse courses I encountered during my undergraduate years. Enjoy the diversity and exposure while you can — hey, you might even learn something. Go figure.

From Die Yuppie Scum: Dearest Lucas Nighthawk — just because one uses the word “one” as often as one can does not mean that one has intrinsic writing ability. Nor does it mean one has made a sophisticated or well-received point. One’s point in this letter is that one thinks that Lucas‘s (Let’s keep it in the third person, shall we?) attitude and writing ability are poor. Based on what one ascertained from Lucas‘s and Khaki‘s letters, one would bet that Khaki is a much more analytical (and probably better) student than Lucas Net: Probably latent CSCL tendencies — feeling queer today, Khaki Girl?– which might explain why Power Point 1101 doesn’t exactly trip her academic trigger.
Well, Network? Net: We take no responsibility for ANYTHING. Would it not (notice the lack of first and second person!) be a good idea to have Lucas and Khaki send in some writing samples and their transcripts to compare? Hey, it’s just another one of the hoops on the road to success in the game (what clever analogies)!
Since Lucas is all about the game, then why not be sporting? Ten bucks (heck, he is from Carlson, make it $100) says Lucas gets an A in “Getting Downsized by Corporate Monoliths.” More Power Point to ya, Lucas! Net: And have a nice day. With that, we continue forth, looking through a glass darkly and wondering why there’s a worm on the bottom. On to the next episode …

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

From Shumaila Anwer: Hello, this your AA Chair at the Minnesota Student Association Net: An AA chair? Sorry, buddy — we already printed the AA announcement. You missed the boat. Figures, being from MSA and all …, your undergraduate student government.
I hope all of you out there know that a student government does exist on this campus. Net: And to think that, until now, we were all blissful anarchists. Yes, actually, 3 percent of you voted for us.
This message is especially for IT students and others who may be interested. I have to do a presentation at the ITICC meeting on Dec. 3 and try to convince them that IT students need a 24-hour UNIX lab during the last five weeks of the quarter. Net: Last five weeks? Don’t they need social lives the ENTIRE quarter? Don’t be cruel to those IT fools … E-mails from students about this issue will help make a stronger case. So please, all those out there who care the least about having this facility, e-mail me at [email protected] Net: But what if we just want to get to know you? Can we still write? Or are we but sick pawns in your political machinations? You can also e-mail me about other stuff you would like your student government to address (like maybe squirrels). Net: Yes. Squirrels should always be addressed respectfully. “Top of the morning to you, brother/sister squirrel” would be a wonderful start.
And thank you, Network, for allowing me to use your precious space. Net: No problem. We’re down wit’ da revolution (Stokely Carmichael, rest in peace). And with that, we’re outta here. Peace out, and don’t let the sun catch ya cryin’ — beauty’s where you find it, and if you haven’t been looking lately, it’s everywhere.